


Moments of the two

by ShenQQQ



Category: Kill Your Boss (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blood and Injury, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Oblivious, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27917188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenQQQ/pseuds/ShenQQQ
Summary: If they were never meant to be, why do they need each other so much...
Relationships: Logan Harris/Alex Miller
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	1. You were born in the night

**Author's Note:**

> This fic would not be possible without my fams from our Logan Simp Cult XD https://discord.gg/6PAkuQKr
> 
> Special thanks to Luwis06 for beta reading this work! Thank you so much fam!! :3

Alex was thankful that he could step outside and hide from the party’s unbearable noise and heat. It was an important meeting where the biggest crime lords attended, with Grayson and Logan being the prime guests. The criminal elites gathered in the club “Apollo” to discuss the new drug prohibition that the government incorporated, after the CIA conducted a recent drug activity report. It was partially Alex’s fault that the regulations were held in the first place, as he was the one behind that report. So as a fateful revenge, he too, by Aria’s order, had to attend this disgusting party to gather up all the necessary infos.

The blonde lit up his cigarette and took a small calming puff out of it. Leo would have been furious if he knew that Alex decided to go outside rather than continued spying on Grayson and Logan. In his defense, the meeting was almost ending, and once he saw a stripper enter the room out of nowhere and started taking a seat on Logan’s lap, he understood there was nothing more to gain except an additional headache. He left immediately and decided to take refuge outside of the club. Of course Logan was not the reason why Alex left, that would be ridiculous. It was probably all the smoke and noise that made him so annoyed. Surely, that was it.

Against his own will, thoughts about Logan reappeared. He was probably drowning himself in the chest of that woman, the blond thought to himself grimly. Not that Alex could imagine Logan doing that, or that he ever saw him doing, but as a common criminal, it should be a typical etiquette for him right?

Alex took another angry puff of smoke. It was freezing outside, but somehow that was not enough to force him to go back inside. _ I wonder if he saw me leaving, _ Alex thought to himself.

Logan. He was a lonely figure that was towering over him for the past seven years. He was so stubborn and arrogant, and yet Alex had his pulse racing just from thinking of him. Of course, he was jealous of that man; who wouldn’t be in his place. So much power, so much confidence could be seen in his figure. It’s like the fear was unknown to him, and living in the constant danger only brings him joy. Taking everything from this life by force, not caring in the world what anyone thinks. Pleasing only himself, living only for himself. Would Logan ever be able to give up this life that he loved so much? A life full of excitement and no fear. Probably not; otherwise, it would not be Logan, right?

Alex let out a small chuckle;  _ usually, kids are scared of the dark, but I can’t see kid Logan being scared of any such things. While others would have fears and nightmares in the dark, Logan would be lavishing in it, thinking of ways to use it to his advantage, like he was born in it.  _

The young man suddenly sneezed; he didn’t notice how cold he got while he was standing out here. That's what happens when he thinks of Logan too much; it only hurts in the long run. Right, Alex agreed with himself; besides, he has been on this mission for over six years, it should end soon, and Logan would not be a part of his life anymore. He will be free soon, right?

_ Freedom, _ the blond muttered.  _ Do I even remember the meaning of that word at this point? _

The CIA agent looked at the cigarette in his hand as if it was the cause of all the problems.  _ I should really quit smoking. How disappointed Hailey would be if she knew I had gained yet another unhealthy habit. _ However, only now Alex noticed that his vision was blurring a bit.

“Alex! Why the fuck did you leave?! I was looking everywhere for you!” Oh, what a familiar voice.

Logan was standing right by the door in his infamous fluffy fur coat. While it looked stunning, it probably was just as uncomfortable to wear for anyone with how heavy it was. Well, for anyone, if you were not Logan. Even if a full firefight were about to commence, he would easily maneuver himself in that fur, taking lives left and right without a slight discomfort. Whatever Logan did, he was doing it perfectly and completely effortlessly, like wearing that dang coat as if it was a silk scarf. 

But only now Alex noticed that Logan’s suite was glimpsing beautifully in the dark like a night sky filled with bright stars. He truly looked like he and the night were one.

“I was trying my best not to see your ugly face again,” the blond uttered in a hoarse voice. 

“And I love seeing your pretty face too” Logan smirked as he started moving closer. However, his expression suddenly changed. 

“Shit, Alex, it's freezing. Don’t tell me all this time you were standing right here. What the hell?!” Logan locked his arms around him.

“Were you…”, Alex couldn’t finish as his consciousness started fading away, and he leaned against someone very warm and with a familiar scent.  _ Weird _ , he was sure it would smell like sweat and cheap perfume, like those girls at the club. With that last thought, he fainted. 

——————————————————————

When he woke up, he was in the backseat of a familiar car, with Logan next to him. It was so warm and calming sitting like that with Logan, while the other was completely silent. He was leaning on his shoulder, listening to his breath and heartbeat. This was one rare moment when the two of them were this close, merely enjoying each other’s presence. Alex even noticed the gentle smell of sandalwood that filled the car’s salon.  _ How convenient that Logan started to use that scent more and more recently.  _

However, something was still causing him discomfort, and he couldn’t figure it out. Then he noticed that the problem was something very, very heavy, lying right on top of him. Only then he figured out the cause of his disturbance was Logan’s dang coat that covered him completely like a blanket. 

I think this psycho is actually trying to kill me, Alex announced to himself. 

And while it was getting a little bit too hot under the coat and leaning against Logan’s shoulder for such a long time was getting a little bit too uncomfortable, he didn’t want to move and change his position, not even by an inch. Though he tried to hide it, Alex still frowned slightly in discomfort, to which the other man stared at him adoringly.

“I’m thinking about giving you this fur of mine. It suits you” Logan smiled, “Maybe then you will stop trying to freeze your ass like an idiot while I was searching for you”

“Please do, I’ll make sure to strangle you with it. In your sleep,” Alex muttered in response. He didn’t even know why he was getting angry at Logan; he didn't do anything. Yet.

“You don’t need a coat for that, you know,” the gangster chuckled. “I’m always waiting for you to visit me while I’m sleeping.” Yep there it is.

If Alex didn’t change the subject now, this would go on since Logan had no limits, and Alex had no patience in the current moment. 

“Where are we heading?” the blond man said as he noticed the car moving and Logan’s driver sitting in the front seat.

“To my place.”

“Nooo, just tell the driver my address; I am perfectly capable of sleeping in my own bed, with no creeps near me, thank you very much.”

“It’s cute that you are calling me a creep,” Logan continued on smiling.

“And you are not?” 

“Regardless” He does not even deny it!? “Why not my place, it's not the first time you had a sleepover there, plus you fainted right in front of me. Are you that naive to think I will let you go easily, after the shit you just did?” While Logan sounded annoyed, his face also looked very pleased with something, “I’ll just make sure my ‘employee’ stays safe and warm.”

“You’ll say that you only have one bed, and you will force me to sleep with you in yours.”

“But I have only one bed!”

“No, you don’t, you ass. You have four separate bedrooms at your house. Four”

“Really?!” Logan gasped like it was the craziest thing he heard all day. “I never noticed,” The silver-haired man said all these in such confidence that if Alex didn’t know any better, he would have believed him. But the CIA agent was too tired to argue any further. 

“So why did you leave?” Logan said suddenly in a serious tone.

Now that question suddenly reappearing took Alex completely by surprise. The last thing he needed was his vagrancy turning him into a possible traitor. Not now, of all times when he was that close to the finish line.

“You know I hate these kinds of places. Full of sluts, vile men, and garbage similar to you. You might like it, but I don’t. Do I really have to explain myself at all?” though, to be honest; by now, Alex was not sure why he left. Maybe he was trying to make himself believe like he didn't know.

“Oh, I know, in fact, that's why I never invited you in the first place. You volunteered to come, remember?”

Of course, Alex remembered that too.

“Does it matter now?” the agent tried his best to change the subject, “You had your fun with that woman, I left to get some air, what more to say?”

“Oh, so that's what you think,” Logan responded with a contemplative look, but with the corners of lips rising, slowly, ever so slowly into a sadistic smile. 

“Yes, and you should have continued having fun with her, you are free to do whatever you want, and the same goes for me.” It was too late to back down now, Alex.

“I don’t think she will be able to have any more fun tonight with a broken arm, you know, it’s not too comfortable.”

To that, Alex had absolutely nothing to say. Wide-eyed he just stared at the other man in silence. _ Crazy bastard, how could he hurt someone like that, who gave him the right. _ On the other hand, what scared him more was a pleasant feeling that started to spread through his body, like he was finally content with something.  _ Had he already gone mad like Logan? _

“That's a real shame though, I expected this night to be something else entirely. Here I was getting all excited that I could hang out with you right after the meeting. We would try all the drinks on the bar’s menu until we got completely wasted. Then we would start dancing to the music’s beat. I would lean against your neck, kissing it, taking in your scent. You would moan to my touch, accepting all my kisses and bites, and then I would start grinding against your…”

And that was when Alex lost all his patience, so he just covered Logan’s mouth with his palm, with...much force. Usually, Alex could handle all this talk from Logan while face-palming himself, but not when he was this tired, and when Logan's driver was right there. 

“I’ll stay overnight at your place,” Alex muttered firmly. Was it the heat from the coat, or was he blushing like crazy? He couldn’t tell anymore.

“Yay!” Logan exclaimed back at him as a kid whose parents made a dessert for dinner. 

They would continue the ride like that in silence; both pleased in their own way over something. And both were enjoying this moment when the two were so close to each other, without anyone else interfering.

As time passed, Alex was getting more and more sleepy; however, there was still one question haunting him.

“Logan”

“Yes?” 

“How do you do it? How do you live without fear?”

For a long moment, Logan only looked at him like he was searching for something, like he expected Alex to ask something more. Yet, all the blond could do was being on the verge of sleep but still trying his best to stay awake, just to listen to the response.

Logan let out a small sigh, and if Alex weren’t so sleepy, he would notice his sad smile:

“I don’t see value in my life, so I don’t really care what happens with me in the end,” he leaned back towards Alex more, “I just want to enjoy all that I can have while I still have time; I don’t care what happens to me and how much I’ll get hurt. I only have one wish….no, I only care for…” Logan stopped himself as he noticed that Alex had already fallen asleep.

Logan would never know that Alex's last thought before falling over was: But I want you to value your life. On the other hand, Alex would never know that Logan started kissing his forehead and caressing his hair until the car stopped.


	2. You are my light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Ahead to Extra Story 2: Sleeping with the enemy (Changed the plot/dialog just a bit to accommodate the story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic would not be possible without my fams from our Logan Simp Cult XD https://discord.gg/6PAkuQKr
> 
> Special thanks to Luwis06 for beta reading this work! Thank you so much fam!! :3

“I was addicted to gambling in college….” 

_ No, don’t start it now, you shit head! I asked you only one question, and you just had to share your entire biography with the fucking class. Why was I forced to be stuck with this boring fucker that I can’t even kill?! _

When Logan entered Riam’s room, he only had one reason behind that. He had to make sure the fucker stayed alive so that none would pin his death on him. After this entire ordeal is over, this Zimmer guy could choke to death on someone else’s dick for all he cared. 

Why did Logan imply on dick choking? Well, he was no idiot and not blind too, he could see this weird fucker undressing him with his eyes. And Logan was feeling extremely annoyed by that. Don’t get him wrong; he understood entirely how attractive he was and how easy it was for him to attract dirty looks. However, after everything he’d been through today, he found these stares too tiring to deal with, especially from someone he didn’t find, even partly to his liking.

Cut him some slack now; he had been spending so much time with this pretentious prick and wasn't able to see Alex for several days now. Hell, he hardly had any time even to imagine his kitten’s face, all while the routine was becoming increasingly boring and unbearable.

“Blah, blah, blah, blah”  _ And he is still talking. God, it’s so irritating. It makes me wonder how Zimmer would look like when he starts choking on his own blood. Oh, wait, even better, the look this guy will have when I cut open his stomach and rip his guts out. Bahahaha...Ehhh this won't do at all. Time to calm down; I can’t let loose now, right? _

Logan started to look around the room to find any sort of distraction that would at least partially calm his mind down.  _ In that case, I will start my mediation since tonight was supposed to be my free time. _ He slowly looked at his hands, imagining a certain someone he wanted to hold so much right now.

And so, he started imagining how this man would right behind his chair, singing a familiar melody, while slowly, ever so gently massaging his shoulders. How embarrassed his boy would look if Logan would force him to sit on his lap. Oh, how exquisite Alex’s face would look after he started kissing his chest. His angel would try so hard to hide his soft moans while covering his mouth with his delicate hand. How annoyed he would look after noticing every bruise that Logan left on him. 

By thinking more and more of Alex, Logan could feel his body relaxing and finally beginning to rest. Of course, thoughts of the blond would have this magical effect on him. It was Alex, after all. It could be no one else but Alex. His Alex.

Perhaps, he could make this day even better once this Riam guy stopped talking; Logan could help himself with his hand while thinking of Alex. In fact, for the past several years, that was precisely how he would usually spend his evenings when he was unable to sleep. Hell, some of his hounds would notice how tensed up their leader would get and joked around how he has  _ a...how that thing is called again... spermace...no a..s...s… for fuck sake what was it?!...Spermaa….a spermotoxicosis, that's right! That’s the fucker! _

Of course, with great pleasure, Logan shot these worthless shitheads afterwards, but he still felt unsatisfied. Only when Logan looked up what that long ass name meant he calmed down. Yeah, it did hurt his pride a little bit, but he couldn't deny that this was what he was feeling for so long toward his kitten.

When was the last time he even got laid? Logan definitely hasn't slept with anyone since Alex entered his life. And before Alex? Well, he didn’t even want to remember his life before Alex. How utterly lonely and bored he was back then, can anyone even consider that a living?

“So, what do you think? Logan?” Riam asked several times, as he couldn’t get responses or any sort of reactions out of Logan for several minutes now.

_ Oh, so now you finished, right when my head is filled with happy thoughts? You just love to ruin the mood, don’t you, Clark Kent. _

With that notion, the silver-haired man shifted slightly in his chair. He was definitely getting more frustrated at Riam, not that he could show it, considering his current situation. If he wanted to make sure Alex is safe, he needed a more substantial base. He needed to stop gaining enemies around him and start getting less likely backstabbing allies. That was the very reason he started to hang out with the old man, after all. And no doubt, he will use Grayson's liking of him as his greatest advantage. As for this block of meat...well, as much Logan found him unimpressive, he could be considered more or less reliable. _ Who said I can't kill every last of these fuckers after this ordeal is done? Both of these fuckers want to use me as their hunting hound, after all. It only makes sense that this very hound should rip out their throats in return,  _ Logan chuckled to himself.

“So I guess the casino business is important to you, huh,” Logan said in a completely flat tone with his usual half-smiling expression. At this point, the only thing he wanted was to leave this wrecked room, so by his standard, he was at the pick of politeness.

Riam’s face was priceless though, surprises and horrified, he could only exclaim:

“Well, of course! Of course, it’s important to me!” while his face was clearly stating: ‘Didn't you listen to my heart-wrenching story this entire time!’

Logan tried his best not to laugh out loud and said to himself:  _ So you finally noticed I don’t give a shit? Well tooooo bad. _

“Logan, what do you think?”  _ This Zimmer fucker is really persistent, eh? _

“Well, I don’t really care about the casino.” 

“Then Logan, maybe you could…

Suddenly a familiar sound filled the room. His phone rang. Logan immediately picked it up, only to be completely surprised for half a second.

He got a call from 

-Kitten- 

“Whaaaaat~ Alex is calling me ~ this doesn’t happen often~”

When was the last time Alex called him?! That was completely out of nowhere!

Logan could feel how everything inside him started fluttering.

—

He could finally hear this familiar lovely voice.

“Logan, can you talk now?” 

“Shouldn’t you ask me first, ‘Logan dear, did I wake you up’?”

“Do you even sleep, crazy bastard?”

_ Huh, point taken. _

“Logan, I need to talk about something. Could you spare several minutes for me?” 

“Yeah, sure, just give me a moment,” excitedly, Logan finally stood up.

Riam also hurriedly stood up with him. “Wait, Logan, we are not finished. What’s your response?”

To that the silver-haired man only smirked sluggishly.

“I’ll give you my response. After this phone call,” and after Logan granted him with his last lazy smile, he left without a second thought.

___________________________________

Once he was on the balcony of his room, leaning against its railings, he answered his phone again.

“So, what's going on?” Logan said while looking at the lights of the night city below him.

“Erm, are you sure we're all alone? It’s serious issue.” Surprisingly, Alex’s tone was getting a little more nervous.

_ And serious? _

“How serious are we talking about Alex?” Logan straightened his back by a little bit.

“I mean, I guess serious enough to be concerning _ our future _ ?”

Wait,  _ our future _ , did Alex just say  _ our future _ ? As in  _ our future,  _ together, only the two of them? Did Alex consider Logan as a part of his future?.... Could it be? Was he about to tell him? Did he finally start to trust him fully and has decided to share his secret??!

“If it's that serious, then why don't I see you right in front of me?'' Logan said as he left the balcony and started to make small strides around his part of the suit. His tone is somber. A tone so unusual to him

“What? What do you mean” - Alex’s gentle voice was shaking at this point.

“I’m coming over. You are at your place, right?”

“Wha, wait, what?! Of course, I am at my place; why wouldn’t I be. But Logan, wait!! Stop, you don’t dare to come over now!!!” Alex said it all so hurriedly, with such a nervous tone. Of course, he would be anxious now; he was scared of Logan after all. However, Logan had to be next to him right now. 

“Naaaah, I am coming over. I wanna come over.” 

“Nononononono, Logan, don’t you fucking da-“

But Logan was already at the elevator of the hotel. 

————————————————

Sitting in the car like this was exhilarating. While stuck inside the car, Logan Harris could feel every part of his body shiver. He couldn’t even control his left leg from shaking a little bit. If it weren’t this darn cold weather, he would have sprinted to Alex’s house, at least that would have been fucking faster, by fucking a lot. Logan took out his gun, started holding it from one hand to another as a ritual to calm down, but that was not helping.

With how much he loved Alex, and he also hated how much power this boy had over him. Even if Alex said that he wanted to see him, while Logan was in the other part of the world, Logan would most definitely leave behind everything just to see him. Oh, what the hell, Logan would be ready to climb into the mother fucking plane that was about to take off, just to see him.

However, now it should be special, if Logan’s gut was on point, everything could change tonight. Alex hiding the fact that he was a CIA agent was probably the only concern that Logan had in his life. It was suffocating him. Because he hated the idea that Alex was afraid of him, he hated that Alex had something else in his life besides Logan. Because Alex was everything in Logan's life, but Logan was not everything to Alex. 

He just wanted Alex to put all his trust in him. To burn all his other bridges, to stay on the stranded island with only Logan, just as he himself did. 

How much he wished he could stop seeing the shadow of fear in Alex’s eyes whenever his angel looked at him. How easy it would have been if they both had a common enemy. 

Even if tonight would be his last day, he was okay with it. Even if Alex announced that he had to kill Logan to be free, Logan would gladly take his life for him. Alex just has to confess first that he cares for him too, that he wants to spend his life with him, that he gets jealous when Logan is with someone else. He just needed Alex to finally acknowledge that he too, lost his mind over him, just as Logan did.

It would be a death filled with regret; he wouldn’t be able to stay besides Alex anymore. But if it was needed to ensure the blonde's safety, he would do it; no question asked. As long as Alex stayed by his side until his last breath and his body became completely cold, Logan wouldn't mind dying just like that, in Alex’s arms. 

_ Actually dying right after pounding my kitten...oh, now that would be a more satisfying death.  _

———————

Logan knocked on Alex's door with a satisfying banging. The loud noises echoed on the other side of the door, as his poor kitten tried to hide evidence of his betrayal around, were amusing to listen to; but Logan's patience was on the verge of collapsing. 

Alex, all sweating with a hair looking like a complete mess, opened the door. Logan couldn't help but just smile at him with amusement.  _ How can this boy be so much fun? _

“You ass, you actually came by”- Alex let out a fake yawn as if all this time he was not just now running all over the houses, picking up notes of his crimes, but merely sleeping.

_ How can you be this cute? _

“Hmmm, you look so hot and bothered…. What were you doing all this time? Playing with yourself and patiently waiting for me to come to help you?”  _ Oh he looks so red now! I think I overdid it a bit. _

Red as a tomato, Alex stepped away from the door to get more distance between him and Logan. His face was a pure mix of stress and embarrassment.

“Come in if you want to have a serious and normal talk. If you are here to be a disgusting pervert, then go somewhere else.”Alex said without taking a second glance at Logan and leaving him at the front porch. The poor kitten was trying his best to calm himself.

“You know I am quite successful at doing both,” Logan smirked as he finally came in.

________

To Logan's surprise, the bedroom was still a mess. Perhaps due to his excitement, the unbearably long ride was actually taking only several minutes, and his Kitten had little to no time to hide all of the evidence. Even his bed was still messy, showing that Alex was on it not long ago. He probably was still lying in it while he was calling Logan.

Suddenly, an ingenious idea crossed his mind. He might as well do something that he wanted to do for so long …

“I guess, since you are finally here, we can talk,” Alex muttered, preparing himself for the upcoming conversation.

“I want a drink,” Logan suddenly announced.

“What, now?”

“Yeah, now, make me a tea or some shit.”

Alex looked too nervous now. It was clear as daylight that he didn’t want to leave Logan in his room for so long.  _ You poor thing _ , Logan thought to himself.

“How about a beer? I don't want to waste my precious tea on a crazy head like you.”

“Fine, whatever, anything works, just get me something,” - The silver-haired man muttered with his eyes shining dimly.

Seeing how agreeable Logan was all of a sudden, Alex tried to push his luck even more, anything just not to leave Logan alone in his bedroom.

“Logan, you are not worried I might spit on your drink?”

“Oh,” Logan exclaimed suddenly, as if processing something, then smirked back at Alex, “Well, I was hoping you would”

_

As Alex stormed out of the room with the speed of a meteor, some angry loud cursing could be heard from the kitchen.

And Logan kept on laughing, non-stop.  _ How can someone be so cute and fun? _

He then proceeded to execute his malicious plan. 

At full speed, Logan jumped into Alex's bed, enveloping himself in the heat and smell he loved so much. He was ready to stay like this forever until….

“Logan Harris you fucking psycho!!! Get out of my bed. Now!!! Are you trying to ruin it?!?”

_ It was good while it lasted. _

_______________________________________

“Can we finally talk now?” Alex muttered while being annoyed, but at least he finally calmed down.

He had been angrily yelling at Logan for over ten minutes and was still unable to force the other to leave his bed entirely. Logan adamantly decided that he might as well stay seated on the bed during this talk.

“I am all ears and have been for the last ten minutes” Logan finally looked at Alex with a serious expression. He tried to make it serious, rather than smiling in self-satisfaction as he wanted. Logan was preparing himself to create his best fake surprised face there is. He wanted to hear his kitten's entire explanation regarding his CIA experience, and that could be done only if Logan showed how unaware of it all he was. Afterwards, he could finally plan out how to save Alex………. or die by his hand.

“Then, I’ll begin. You know how Grayson is about to find a new CEO of Sirius, right? However, everyone is sure that he will take you for the job. Logan, I know that you said you don't care about this business, but I think you should take it! I’ll be helping you too, to control the hotel business successfully. Just please think about it.”

_ He said these things so effortlessly; For how long was he preparing this speech? And where is the talk about you, Alex?  _

_ This is it, huh _

_ I am a fucking idiot. _

“You're trying to tell me what to do, punk?” Logan sneered back at Alex.  _ No, calm down, don’t get angry at him now. _

“ No, I'm just trying to be reasonable,” the blonde said; he was fully prepared for such reaction, “It will give us, the Hounds, so much power and influence, there is no other job better for us.”

“And why should I care about what YOU think?!” Logan’s eyes were shining like a madman’s. He was so enraged and disappointed.  _ If only the other man had known what actually caused his reaction. _

However, Alex just stood there calmly, utterly unaffected by Logan’s cries.

“You did care about my thoughts before.”

_ But this is not your thought, is it?! You are taking all this risk not for my sake, not for your sake, but only for the CIA. _

Logan won’t say these things out loud. He greeted his teeth for several seconds with a scorn expression, and then quickly returned to his regular face, a lazy smile spreading yet again.

“I’ll think about it,” Logan said as he stood up.

“Wait, you are already leaving?”

“Yeah, I need to get some air.” 

“But you just came over. Logan at least tell me something.”

Logan stopped before the front door and looked back at Alex with an unreadable expression. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. I’ll make the right decision. I’ll keep  _ us _ safe.” 

After that, Logan left without saying anything more. And Alex had no idea what he did wrong this time.

_____________

Of course, Logan understood perfectly why Alex did this. His bosses from the CIA were interested in Logan getting this position. This way, they could keep spying on Grayson's business from the inside. Alex was yet again the puppet in CIA’s hands, putting his life at risk for these bastards.

As Logan walked around a small neighborhood, yet another worry appeared in his heart. Suppose he follows Alex’s instruction, that Zimmer guy won’t hold back. Logan will gain yet another enemy that could harm Alex. If Riam ever learns about Alex, and he would, since they will start working with each other soon, he will aim his attacks at his kitten, as revenge. Just the thought of that asshole getting even close to Alex was getting his blood boiling.

And if Logan goes against Alex’s plan. Well, the shit storm becomes 10th worse. Then Alex would fail his mission, and the CIA in return will try to get rid of him. What could Logan do then? At least against Riam, if careful enough, Logan could protect Alex; and what could he do against the fucking CIA? 

With more time passing, the silver-haired man entered a more downtown area and noticed a jewelry store. It was already closed due to the late hours, but through the glass window he could see various rings. What especially interested him was a picture of a happily married couple holding each other by the hands so that their jewelry could be visible, at the bottom of it was written:  _ Make your other half happy, unite your love _ . Logan looked at the picture with disgust. To him, the couple in the image seemed so stupid, so hopeful. But then it suddenly hit him.

He started laughing like a complete mad man! Laughing more and louder, as if with the laugh the pain in his chest could suddenly disappear. Some people that were passing by would fearfully keep their distance from the maniac.

_ Not so long ago, I was just like these idiots! Bahahahhaah! I am just like them, hahaha! Kitten kitten! What have you done to me hahaha! What kind of sobbing loser have you turned me into!!!! _

He continued laughing, wailing until he shattered the class of the tiny shop.

“I need to take a closer look at these goodies.”

Alex was his only weakness, but at the same time, he was also his only joy in life. No, he was the only thing that even made him alive in this wretched world. 

_ Well then, I guess I’ll allow those CIA assholes put yet another leash on me if it is for you, Kitten. So let me put this little leash on you too. _

_ __________ _

Later the same night, Logan entered Alex's house silently. This time he didn’t want to tease or talk to his kitten; he just wanted to stay close to him, to look at his peaceful expression that would calm him too in return. 

As he crouched before Alex's bed, he gently took his hand to nuzzle his face into it. He stayed like that for several hours before Alex would even wake up. But during the time he still had, Logan kept on kissing and burying himself in his hand. He also took a peculiar interest in Alex’s ring finger, as he measured it over and over.


	3. We are two parallels (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! Hope you will enjoy this small gift :)  
> Special amazing thanks to Luwis06! She helped so much with editing and making this work soooo much better

“Bleh...fuck...This tastes like someone dipped their balls in it!”

“...”

“...What?”

“....I’m not even gonna ask how the hell you know what that tastes like.”

“Hmmm, well, at least I left you wondering if it’s a figure of speech, or if I did it, Miller. And I win both ways, hehehe.”  _ Cause the more you think of me, the better. _

“Just eat your goddamn shaurma Logan, and don’t fucking bother me anymore”- Alex said in a very annoyed tone. To him, the day couldn’t have started any worse. Not only is he sitting right next to the man that is possibly very suspicious of him, but he also forced Alex to have breakfast with him in the shittiest shaurma cafe around. 

This morning was supposed to perfect, PERFECT. It was his first day off in hell knows how long, and Alex had planned it weeks ago! First, he was supposed to have a satisfying breakfast at a lovely pastries café, one that Hailey used to like so much. He could remember their good days for a bit and might even forget how he had spent the past seven years of his life. Afterward, he would go to the cinema, watch some romantic comedy, and play the role of an ordinary person for the rest of the day. It was supposed to be so, so ideal.

Only later did he realize, that his dreams would be shattered into pieces the moment that crazy fucker started banging loudly on his door, screaming so powerfully that all his neighbors woke up and started screaming too: “Alex, wake up!! I’m really fucking bored!!! Let’s go for a snack!”

A snack, yes, a fucking snack at 5:30 AM, very nice Logan.

The café Alex dreamed of was not opened yet, and with or without Logan, Alex won't be able to visit it anytime soon now.

So that’s how he ended up here. In the cheap excuse of a restaurant, with him and Logan sitting at the squeaky chairs behind a petit table, in the tiny room with only two of them and a small group of construction workers at a different table. And Alex was sipping on a burnt coffee (he was smart enough to not try to eat anything from here) with this oversized man-baby, who hated to no end the shaurma he ordered but somehow was still eating it for whatever reason. Besides, only Alex was sitting somewhat comfortably as he created a distance between himself and the table, while sitting on the chair with his legs crossed. On the other hand, the Hound’s leader was bigger than him, of course, and had a more challenging time fitting himself in this tiny place. So Logan had to take almost an entire space of the table to fit himself and his meal; and with that much pressure on it, the poor plastic chair he was sitting on was on the verge of breaking.

As much as he tried, Alex had no control over himself and kept on shooting death glares at Logan from time to time. While it would be against his mission; secretly, he was hoping that Logan would finally die from food poisoning or, at the very least, ruin his perfect body with that shitty shaurma he’s been eating. In response, the man who was collecting all the death glares stopped forcing himself to eat the disgusting meal for a moment, and simply looked back at Alex with a drowsy smile: “What is it? Have you finally fallen for me?”

To give Logan some credit, he was still very successful at eating something that looked so horribly tasted. But to be honest, he was almost mechanically biting and chewing on this mess of food while sipping the water constantly to ensure that he could gulp it.

“Logan, out of all the places, could you have not found anything nicer? I know there ain't many restaurants open this early, but you could have easily found some luxurious place to eat at! That’s how you always eat anyway.” After a while, Alex finally couldn’t hold his urge more and asked while still pursing his  soft  lips.

_ You are struggling! Stop forcing yourself to eat that shit!  _ He thought secretly but was too angry to say that aloud.

“Isn’t it obvious? It is a safer choice!” The silver-haired man announced nonchalantly while taking another sip of water to get rid of the horrible after taste, “No one would ever expect the two of us to eat at this shithole. So being extra careful is not a bad idea, no? The least that I need right now is for you, princess, to get kidnapped again.”

_ What was that he just said again?  _ Alex was totally being dumbfounded,  _ Careful and Logan? I can't see these things combine ever … unless? _

“Didn’t you already deal with the Bloods a long time ago? Are you worried about them coming back? No one would even try to mess with me after what you did last time.” Alex curiously asked, but then something flashed through his mind, made him continue to speak, but in a more annoyed tone,“And besides, even if I were to be kidnapped again, I won’t betray you! I told you that already. I didn’t snitch on you last time and I’m not going to snitch on you next time either!”

To that, Logan stopped himself from taking another bite on the shaurma. He didn't look surprised, but had a weird expression as if just now an exciting idea was announced to him. However, that expression quickly changed into something else with Logan’s eyes shining slyly and his smile becoming wider than it would usually be.

“Bahahahahahah! Oh, that’s a good one! Bhahaha, what a brave, loyal kitten you are!!!”

The Hound’s leader was shaking crazily from laughter, on an already very shaky and unstable plastic chair in which he could hardly fit in.  _ Can you describe this man as a normal person? Or would he ever be normal in any chance? _ Alex didn’t know the answer either. After seven years, he still couldn’t understand the man beside him very clearly. But he could tell if something’s not right with Logan right now, and that made the butterflies rambling insanely in his stomach.

“ Bhahaha..hah…hah….. well if you say so, I’ll keep that in mind~” Logan almost purred once he finally calmed down and retook his trash food to prepare himself for yet another bite on the damn thing, like nothing ever happened.

“Are you looking down on me?!” Alex hissed back, barely contained his anger.

“Me...What, me?! Never, Miller, I would neve- fuck!…Oh for fuck's sake! Why is it so hard to chew on this disgusting piece of shit… FUCK!”

Now it was Alex’s turn to have a small giggle on Logan. At least he was not the only one suffering.  _ You deserve that you crazy ass! That's whatcha get for ruining my day. I hope you will break your perfect teeth on this indestructible piece of nearly frozen meat! _

However, Alex couldn't stay this self-satisfied for long. A lot of things were bothering him for quite a time. Even though Logan is a psycho, this type of behavior is unusual to him.

But it didn’t just start today or yesterday, it started...maybe months ago, ever since Logan became the CEO of “Sirius”.

What happened? Well, to put it simply, a lot of things. But there were these two weird issues that made Alex feel extremely discomforted towards.

Firstly, Logan completely avoided him when they were at work. In fact, avoiding would be an understatement as Logan would always send Alex away from him as far as possible the moment he was in his sight. Everyone in their gang noticed that, but no one would dare to say a word. Whenever the silver-haired wanted to ask him something, he would always do it through someone else and never directly made it one on one at work. 

One time Logan even ordered Alex to stay and play poker with another gang member while he would attend a crucial meeting with Grayson and other board members. And that order was blasphemous since Alex was always beside Logan through all times! During all these 7 years, there’s always Alex and Logan being right beside each other . It was so often and normal for Logan to order Alex to follow him everywhere, that all the gang members considered Alex not only Logan’s right and left hand, but also a sort of success amulet. But it all changed so suddenly without any warning, and that hurt Alex. But only a little bit of course. 

Technically, this alone should be enough for Alex to announce that he is failing his mission. Now it was impossible to guide Logan, and spying on him was out of the question. Leo was already suggesting Alex to ‘pack up his suitcase’ and start running. The blond to that could only glare back at Leo, trying his best to keep a neutral expression. 

Where did he mess up? Was it because Logan grew tired of him? What the fuck is wrong with you you punk! However, that’s not the worst part. Another factor kept him even more confused and unable to figure out his position is that Logan became ten times more clingy to him outside of work. 

Secondly, another factor that kept him even more confused and unable to figure out his position is that Logan became ten times more clingy to him outside of work. If before it was difficult as hell to decline all the “date” invitations from Logan, now the leader of the Hounds was practically forcing him. Like how two weeks ago Logan ordered Alex to stay with him for the entire Sunday and teach him how to play chess? Or when two days ago Logan announced how he “accidentally” rented an entire seafood restaurant for an evening and wanted the blond to join him as his “secretary”? 

Did he even ask for his permission? What if Alex never wanted to go to his favorite restaurant to drink some expensive wines while eating delicious seafood? No! Logan grew tired of him? Fuck yeah like it is! Their gang leader started to look even more like a hungry hound circled his favorite steak. But for some reason, never goes for it, to devour it completely. 

What the fuck was this anyway? If Logan found out that he is a traitor, then go and finish him off fast! He would rather be killed by his gun than through food poisoning! Was this a new method of torture for him?

With all these thoughts, Alex could feel even more clearly how hungrier he became and how much his stomach was rumbling. But the CIA agent would never eat something at the place like this, Logan might be a psycho with a stomach of a goat, but Alex himself was still a normal human being.

And then the blond suddenly noticed a small basket that was located right on the edge of their table. He even remembered clearly how Logan had to move it away to the edge to ensure that his massive body would at least partially fit in within the small space. Now though, Alex looked at the small basket as if it was his lifebelt as he just realized there was one piece of bread left. Perhaps it was old and hard, but for Alex, it was enough to help, at least temporarily.

“Can I get a bit of the bread?” Alex said in a stern, almost commanding tone. He planned to sound more polite but failed to hide his emotion properly.

Interrupted again, Logan took that last piece of bread and stared at it like it had Satan’s face on it; and suddenly, he took a huge bite of it, completely obliterating the poor bread, and only spared half of its life. Only then proceeded he to finally give it to Alex. 

“Here”

“Shove this up your ass, Harris,” Alex said and slapped his hand away.

Unfortunately, as the hand was pushed away, half of the bread slipped out of it and landed directly on another customer's plate. It was the group of construction workers that was sitting right behind them. Those poor men were clearly tired and only wanted to have a small quiet meal until their next shift started. How could they have expected a crazy gangster to be sitting and making a fuss right next to them?

“What the fuck is this, you bitch!!” One of them screamed at the top of his lungs while standing up from his plastic chair.

“For fucking God!! Can’t you faggots just sit at your homes quietly?!” Another one of the men joined.

“Now, you should shut your fucking mouth up before I rip you a new one and make you look more like the fucking clowns you’re.” Logan stood strongly with so much force his own chair fell back over and crumbled.

While Logan was wearing his usual gray outfit with the coat, he certainly did look more flamboyant than the several men next to him. However, little did those poor men know how much more terrifying Logan Harris could be and how he was a threat to everyone in the room when he was angry.

Alex had only several seconds to thought out: _ I have to do something, I have to…. _

“You faggots just can’t stay at your damn bars sucking each other off? Are you that desperate for our dicks, or what!”

“Actually the blond one in the back looks quite nice, we could definitely have some fun with this twink like he wants!”

"Oh ok, then you fucking piece of shit, you deserve what you will get. Logan, they are all yours." Alex said calmly and went back to his seat, not bothering to look at those homophobes anymore.

And Logan was already beating the living crap out of them. But even that seemed unusual for the leader of the Hounds, who would normally like to play around with his prey and made it suffer as slowly as possible. Not like now, with Logan ruthlessly, almost savagely attacking these completely worthless men. He was not having fun with the fight as he would usually have, as if something was actually bothering him. Logan did seem like he was on edge all this time.

————

After some broken plates and several broken noses, they left that shithole café and walked up the still dimly lit streets. 

Alex looked at his watches and to his disdain, it was already 8 am. His perfect sleep time was already ruined with no way of going back.

“So whatcha wanna do now?” The older man suddenly asked nonchalantly. As if not mere moments ago was he not wiping the floor with those assholes. Alex at first wanted to stop Logan; of course, that was before they opened their mouths, so the blond felt no empathy for them whatsoever.

He brushed back a lock of light blond hair, then took a breath, “Why are you asking me that?”

“I messed up the food choice, right? Since you didn’t like that place,”  _ Oh, and you will lie to my face and say you enjoyed it?!  _ “I was the only one eating while you only had coffee. So a gentleman like me should treat you with something nicer.” for Alex it was so hard to understand whether Logan was joking or acting all crazy on him. Maybe both?

_ Wait a minute! _

“Harris, tell me the truth. Did you plan this all out, just to torture me more for the rest of the day?”

“…Ermmm, no?” Logan shrugged his shoulder with a straight face but kept his playful tone.

_ Yeah, right, keep on lying like that. _

“So you wanna treat me right this time, and all on my condition? Whatever I want?” - The CIA agent finally stopped his stroll to look directly at the man behind him. Logan stopped too, while confidently hiding his hands in the pants pockets.

“Don't say it like there’s something I can’t do. I am Logan Harris; there is nothing unattainable for me.”

As Logan stood there spreading around his dominating presence, Alex was only thinking of the way to crumble this man’s undefeatable confidence.  _ Maybe I can use it to my own advantage and force him to run away from me screaming like a child? God that would be lovely!  _

“Grocery shopping, I should go for groceries,” The blond finally mutters with half a small smile.

“Eh... what?” The conquering aura of the all-mighty mafia lord started evaporating “But there are so many more fun things we could do!!!”  _ Awwww, Logan don’t you look a bit worried now? _

“How about just normal fucking shopping? What fucking brand you want to get, you’ll get it, all on me.” Logan asked as he attempted a smile.

“Oh, no, no, no. You always buy me new clothes regardless of my choice, you psycho! I really wanted to go grocery shopping for some time now; you don’t have to join if you don’t wanna help,” the blonde only answered back with a slowly appearing sneaky smile. “But to be fair, I really, really need your help. We never did anything like that together after all. It will be a whole new experience.”

Amusement lit up in Logan's dark eyes for a moment, and his signature half-smile reappearing. Alex couldn’t tell what this expression was signaling to, as the silver-haired man’s smiles could mean so many things at once; however, he could help but think that Logan while smiling so softly yet somewhat innocently, looked magnetizing. _ What no, for sure not!!! He is a maniac who can rip off people’s limbs with that very same smile! What am I even thinking?! _

“Well, what the fuck are we waiting for then? Let’s get going now!” Yet again, just like a kid, Logan grabbed Alex’s hand and they started to walk at a much faster rate to a nearby open market. Strangely, the lingering warmth from Logan’s had made Alex’s heart fluttered once again.

Part of Alex was feeling bad at what he was about to do to Logan, but only a small part of it.

__________

The store they found was not too bad, as it provided almost everything that Alex was looking for. It was just like any other market, with a big food section to it, and several small stores located right here. Due to the still early hour, there weren’t too many people shopping there, which worked to the best adapted for both men. However, there are still rare people that would be just ogling from every direction. 

“These are some very nice cabbages. Should I get them, Logan? No never mind don’t say anything, I’ll get them!” as Alex was smiling from ear to ear, as he put yet another extra weight on Logan. 

“Next time you ever tell me that you ever want to go shopping, I’ll just buy you an entire supermarket beforehand to save us from the damn trouble.”

“Is our almighty leader complaining now?” Alex teasefully asked, he didn’t even bother to hide his chuckle as he’s seeing Logan all suffering with the groceries.

He honestly didn’t need most of the things he was getting at all, but if it meant making the Hounds’ leader suffer just a little more, he was ready for such sacrifice. But currently, his revenge plot was going downhill.

“Hehehe, yeah, right. I’m just sorrowful about the better ways we could’ve spent our time together,” Harris stretched his massive shoulders while using his less busy hand in a slow motion before looking back at the blond, “But you know what? This is nice too; I am very satisfied right now.” A content smile appears on his face with a blissful expression.

Unable to give any logical response back, Alex only crossed his hands and stiffened slightly as he felt he was losing in this small fight. Back in the days, when Hailey and Aria put him through the grocery torture, he was on the verge of tears from exhaustion, as both women were always overbuying food. Yet here they were, with Logan genuinely looking like a satisfying lion after a successful hunt. 

“What are you waiting for? Go on. I’m sure there is another half of the shop that you want to buy.” Logan’s exhilarating smile was appearing yet again.

Logan Harris was holding around ten bags of different vegetables, fruits, and even two boxes of cakes, entirely effortlessly. Now, how he was able to carry all this was out of Alex’s comprehension! He knew how strong Logan was, but not to this extent! He was quite sure that any man of his physics wouldn’t be able even to lift these bags for a brief moment.

Alex was not a sadist; he honestly expected Logan to leave right after he mentioned groceries. And even after he purposely buried this man with so many things, the mule was still standing right beside him, following his every move.

“So what are you cooking?” Logan started as they moved from one section to another. 

“Curry.”

“Oh, nice! I never tried a homemade curry.” 

“Bold of you to assume I am making anything for you,” The blond remarked.

“Not for me, but for ‘us.’ I need some homemade meals too. If I have another street food, I might end up dead in a gutter.” 

“And how is that my problem? The least I can do is pray for your digestive system, I guess? Like, may the force be with you?” Alex shot back.

“The fuck is that suppose to mean?”

“What, digestion?” The CIA agent frowned at that, utterly confused on what part of his sentence this crazy man couldn’t manage to understand. 

“No not that! The force shit you just mentioned? Let the fuck force be with you, or something? Why do you even talk talks like that?” The other man responded in a bewildered tone.

The old lady who was standing not too far from them suddenly decided to leave the whole part of the market hurriedly.

“You don’t know this phrase? Haven’t you seen Star Wars?!”

Logan only rolled his eyes. It was clear that this topic was already boring him out, and he was regretting that he had asked Alex in the first place

“Is that a movie? I haven’t seen any movies or cartoons s-”

“What, how can that be? You must be joking!”

“No I'm pretty sure, in the orphanage where I lived most of my childhood, there wasn’t any of that, and right now I hardly have the time for that shit.” The silver-haired man clicked his tongue as he had to readjust the vast amounts of bags in his hands.

These words had made Alex shudder in discomfort for a bit. It was rare for Logan to mention his past as if it was a stain in his life that he always tried to forget. Previously, the blond himself would try to actively seek answers, but he simply gave up after several unsuccessful attempts, even with Aria’s help. Though secretly, he was hoping that one day Logan would share his story,  _ with him _ .

And as Alex listened to Logan mentioning his past just briefly, he realized the horrors he might have experienced. He could relate to someone’s having a rough childhood; after all, it was exactly what he had experienced himself. But what sort of life would Logan have if such superficial entertainment were unfamiliar to him? Regardless, the thought of Logan's childhood made something inside Alex clutch in pain.  _ He might have never experienced a home-cooked meal or movies with a family, he…. _

“How about we bench watch some movies together,” Alex suddenly said, surprising not only himself but also Logan, who was still standing right beside him.

“Eh?”

“We could go to your apartment, and after I make us curry, we could watch Star Wars, or even something else. I saw before that you have a smart TV, so I’ll just log in with my Netflix account and we are golden!”

Logan was too overwhelmed by the sudden announcement of Alex that he was staring at him dumbfoundedly, as he was wondering whether Alex was joking or actually meant what he just said. 

On the other end, the younger man was hurriedly making excuses in his head on why he would even invite the crazy psycho of a boss for dinner and a movie! As he was frowning his elegant brows, he assured himself that he just wanted to make this day even better by watching something he and his sister enjoyed so much. After all, spending the entirety of the evening bench watching something that would fit in in his category for a perfect day! Watching a movie, with a nice cup of tea! Logan’s presence would be just an insignificant factor! 

As he looked back at Logan, he got a bit startled by his companion’s reddened face. The older man looked like he was still stuck in a loading phase and at this point, was constantly questioning whether he was having one of his dreams or not, as the reality seemed to be too perfect for him to believe.

_ Is Logan blushing right now? Fuck no, it can't be! He must be just tired of carrying all these bags! The  _ blond thought to himself as he found the nearby free cart. Accordingly, he pointed at them for Logan to take notice. 

“Here, Harris, just use this cart for the vegetables and cakes. Next, follow me and help me find all the necessary spices for the curry. Oh, and make sure to get something that you like too. I shouldn’t be the only one choosing everything since you’re the one paying for it all. Maybe you could find our snacks for the movie.”

And Logan still just stood there stupidly, staring at Alex unblinkingly and utterly confused.

“The fuck are you staring at you psycho! Go do something and stop freaking me out!”

Fortunately, that curse did wake Logan up.

“This is the nicest that you ever talked to me! I feel so honored now, almost thought that someone drugged me and this whole day was a fucking dream.”

“As you should be! You should praise me for generousness, after the shit you did in the morning.”

“Oh, I will praise you, gladly.”

“....Don’t go there again.”

———————

As more time passed, Logan was being the one filling their cart. During that, Alex had been noticing, while being entirely unused for getting food from the markets, the older man seemed to follow a more or less healthy diet. 

_ It should be obvious, _ Alex noted to himself,  _ this asshole has a fucking perfect body, of course, he would avoid standard snacks. _ However, that has raised another question in the blond’s head.

“Do you ever eat bread at all?” He suddenly asked while casually leaning against the cart.

“I don’t usually eat any carbohydrate product, rice is the only exception,” Logan answered back, trying to choose between several rice brands that fitted curry the best. It almost looked hilarious when Logan, looking all regal and out of this world, was comparing two of the rice bags by shaking them in his hand.“Do you want to buy some?”

“No, not that. I was just wondering if that’s the case; so why do you cook hotdogs?”

“What a stupid question; I make them for you obviously!”

“....But why?” Alex asked yet again. He felt himself getting more impatient.

The Hounds’s leader had finally decided on the choice of rice and moved back to the cart. However, rather than merely putting in the products, Logan moved much closer to Alex. So close that Alex could feel his breath on him. The blonde could see small, almost invisible rare scars covering Harris’s jaw, like small veins of lightning in this distance.

“Cause I feel like it, and I’ll do it again if I want to,” Logan muttered so close to him in a gentle tone. Only then he put the rice down and moved away from a very flushed Alex.

And they are going in circles again. That was Logan's answer for any weird actions of his. Whenever he groped him, hugged him, kissed him, and the blond questioned it, the only answer would be “Cause I feel like it”. Of course, he wouldn't call these actions harassment because Alex never felt uncomfortable by them. He would act annoyed at these small pranks, but not because he found them unpleasant, but because Logan somehow could tell that Alex secretly enjoyed them. 

_ I should really stop questioning the actions of this lunatic. Understanding him means being just as crazy as him. _

“Alex, should I get these candles too? Don’t you think they would look fucking awesome on the dinner date?” Logan screamed from afar but Alex was so distracted to the point where Harris started snooping around the shop without him.

“Do whatever the hell you want! It's your money we are wasting anyway!” The CIA agent shouted back. He also took notice of how completely lifeless the sections of the shop would become once Logan entered.  _ He just scared all the people around us yet again, didn't he?! _

“Awww, you are no fun,” The silver-haired man said, as his expression resembled an annoyed kid. He still took the candles, though.

“Wait, while we are at it, go grab those aprons too. You probably don’t have any at your place.”

“Oh wow, I never thought you had a kink for aprons! How naughty naughty! Want me to wear it while I’m naked?”

How could Alex think of this perverted maniac as cute before by the way? Cause he already missed those several moments when Logan was utterly silent.

_________

“So, what do we start with?” Logan started with contented excitement. He was already wearing a pink apron and looked like he was fully prepared for the upcoming battle.  _ Who could have known that a weird mix of an unstoppable killing machine and a pink would look this cute,  _ Alex thought to himself _. _

As perhaps most of Logan’s apartment, the Harris kitchen was huge and unreasonably expensive but seemed to be utterly unused by its owner. Anyone would have wanted to live in such a place like this, but he always felt sacred when entering it. He always hated such lifeless and extravagant sites; while having a soft spot for small, comfortable, and warm houses. The ones where he hoped his family would be with him.

“Are you sure you are ready for this? I have a feeling that you and the kitchen don’t work well with each other,” Alex said while taking out several pots from the kitchen closet. Fortunately, by now he had known the kitchen better than Logan himself.

“Oh, but I should help, righhht? What sort of a husband would I be if I don’t help my lovely wife with his cooking?” A smug expression emerged on Logan’s face.

“Get over yourself,  **_husband_ ** , or I’m calling for divorce.”

“I’d love to see you try leaving me behind, Alex Miller.”

“Fine, fine, no one can get away from you, Logan Harris, I know. Let’s stop wasting time from ideal chit chat.” Alex sighed and waved his hand, as he was already getting too hungry to handle the verbal fights anymore.

He then took out a bag of onions and handed one of them to Logan.

“Let’s start with cleaning the vegetables first. Here, try to peel some of this.” Alex ordered as he thought to himself, _Logan should be good with knives after all;_ but another part of him was wondering how Logan’s crying face from the onions would look like. Well, a little bit curious won’t hurt anyone, right?

As Alex was confident in Logan’s abilities in handling the onions, he decided to prepare garlic and ginger by mincing them first to add them later to the pan with the onions.

But.

Cut. 

No, several cuts were appearing on Logan’s hand and on the poorly cleaned onions. 

Logan had cut his palm quite a few times **_accidentally_** with the knife. 

Alex's hardly ever seen Logan bleed before. After so many ruthless battles the silver-haired went through, the only blood that was ever on him was from his enemies.

And yet here he is, the unbeatable leader of the notorious gang Hounds, getting harmed by his own hand. _ I guess he is so good with knives that he can cut anyone with them effortlessly, including himself! _

“You crazy shit head!! Stay right here; I’ll get the bandages,” The blond yelled at Logan while racing to find a first aid kit in the cupboard. It was genuinely fascinating how he was the one who bought this kit a long time ago, as Logan would never bother to purchase anything resembling medicine for himself.

“No, no bandages are needed for this fucking paper cut,” Logan only said back, as he was too interested in actually cooking and having a meal soon rather than “wasting any more time”

“Shut the hell up!!”

After disinfecting the cuts, Alex proceeded to apply bandages while ignoring the annoying protests of the other man.

But of course, Logan is Logan after all; and he wouldn’t just sit quietly and let Alex do what he must in peace, “Well, you can kiss it and make it better. Come on; it would so much more help full~” He said and almost purred it in the blond’s ear, a suggestive smile appearing while Logans shined like some sort of rare gem. 

To that, Alex gave an additional strong tug on the bandage around Logan’s hand. So strong that even Logan let out a sudden inhale breath. 

“Another word, and you’ll stay out of this kitchen for the rest of the day.”

“Fuck, no! Ouch!!! I mean ....Noted...”

_________________

By now, Alex had fully realized that Logan’s skills beyond boiling something were absolutely destructive to anyone around him, especially to the kitchen and to himself. The leader of the Hounds did not just cut his own hands; he also broke several plates, some knives, demolished some of the ingredients, and created an absolute apocalypse of the mess in the kitchen to his own clothes and to Alex’s. At least Harris has assured him that his cleaning lady would take care of everything and that there is nothing for them to worry about. Such a poor lady, Alex truly felt sorry for her.

The funny part is that Alex was not sure if Logan did something of these things on purpose or by pure accident. Ok, he was not genuine right now; he was 90% sure that when Logan tugged on his shirt and almost half of the buttons tear off, he was doing it entirely on purpose. The bastard was ogling him with his eyes when Alex had to change into one of his much bigger shirts.

But how Alex could be angry at him. He tried to be, but he just couldn’t. Not when he saw Logan was trying so hard to make a dish. Not when Logan would continuously fail in cutting the vegetables and then would repeatedly repeat without giving up. How could he be angry at someone who keeps an eye on the boiling rice by literally standing over it unmoving, continually staring at the pot and trying his best not to blink, in order to not ruin yet another portion of rice? How can Alex be angry at him, look down on him, when someone else is this devoted to being helpful? He could be harsh on Logan sometimes, but he wasn’t a jerk. Logan deserves some praises, and he won’t deny that fact.

During this moment, Alex could not have argued on how undeniably attractive the silver-haired man was. With his anger all gone, Alex yet again kept on staring at Logan, not out of annoyance, but...out of adoration. This entire day Logan had been tried, after all.

It was so interesting to see Logan sweating and getting tired from all these cooking efforts. Since the time at the shop, he still didn’t seem tired even just one bit. And while Alex couldn’t take off his eyes out of this magnetizing man, his heart would even beat ten times faster whenever their hands touched. . 

At this moment, Alex Miller just realized this was the first time he was like that with Logan. No, they would be next to each other for days, they would eat together so often, and they would even sometimes sleep in the same bed. But never before had they done these everyday things with each other for such a long time. It was almost like they could forget who they are and enjoy their usually daily life routine with each other. And Alex couldn’t describe how much he appreciated what they were doing right now, how much he wanted this dream to continue. Just him and Logan, being one….family.

The images of Aria and Haley flashed right before his eyes. _They are waiting for me,_ the thought crossed his mind as he forced himself to forget the wishful idea. He remembered how **_this_** moment would never last. _He already had a family, and he had no right to dream of anything else._

After the meal was finally ready, Alex and Logan sat close to each other, hurriedly eating in complete silence. They got so hungry that they completely forgot about the fancy dinner both had in mind. The two could only hurry up in an incomplete and uncomfortable silence, as both Logan and Alex had a completely different thought on their mind now. One was hopeful, as he expected such moments to become a norm for them soon. The other one regretted internally that he was again crossing boundaries that were never meant to be crossed.

______________

“You have been unusually quiet. Did the kitchen work tired you out so much?” muttered Alex first as he turned on the TV and thought about what movie they should watch for their first time.

The blond was sitting on one of the big sofas in Logan’s living room, as the other man was standing next to him while looking at his phone.

“Bahahahaha, you know I’m not capable of getting tired. I am “the crazy fuck that can’t sleep, after all, hehehe” The silver-haired laughed blatantly at his joke and made Alex rolled his eyes at him. Then, as he put his phone away, Logan continued in a more melancholy tone, “I'm just happy to be here with you. You know, just the two of us.”

“Stop saying these crazy things already!!” Alex said in a breathless voice. He was already searching for the right Star Wars movie.

“What mind-blowing movie you wanted to show me now, princess?” Logan asked, while he was not that majestically planted next to Alex on his sofa.

“It's not just a movie, it’s an entire epic movie universe! I and Ha-...ahem, my family and I used to spend the entire evening just bench watching them, those days were the best!!” He excitedly said as he finally clicked on the first of the many movie selections. 

“Tell me more about it. Wait! Actually, tell me more that I don’t know about you. That nerdy side of you is something!”

“Don’t call me that you punk! Just because I like fantasy and sci-fi movies, and enjoy playing video games doesn’t mean that I am a nerd!” Alex did find it annoying when others called him that. Hell, Hailey called him a nerd every time she wanted to tease him too.

“You’re playing video games? What the hell! Are all nerds hot fuckers like you, or are you the only exception?

“Stop calling me that, you ass! You just never played a video game before! Some have so much lore and artistic meaning to them. Games have become a new form of art!”

“I still hear all the nerdy talk from you~.”

“Shut up; you don't know what you are saying! For example, the Dark Souls series….”

Both of them didn’t notice how the movie was playing, while they were just too interested in talking to each other. Logan would just provoke Alex by teasing him to hear the lovely blond get more embarrassed and complain more. While the TV screen showed exhilarating space battle, Logan was only looking at Alex, who would frown adorably, as he kept on talking and explaining nonstop why video games are masterpieces that worth the time and effort they’ll spend. And by that, Alex completely missed the reason why Logan looked so happy at that very moment.

Just when they were peacefully enjoying their movie night, a sudden phone call had woken up both Logan and Alex as it moved them into reality. Without a word, Logan immediately stood up and left the room. He had left Alex alone for over 20 minutes. 

The blond, unsure of what to do, started pacing around the room, wondering if anything had changed within the apartment that he had not visited for some time. So it was completely not his fault when he could hear from the other room an enraged voice: “That fucking bitch!....Oh, for fuck sake!...... I’m not changing anything, and my words are final!.. I have to fucking step in then..Fucking Riam!!!”

_ Riam? Is he talking about Riam Zimmer? Why is Logan fussing over that guy all of a sudden? _ The blond of course had heard of that man before; but he never had a chance to meet him though. A sudden uncomfortable pang appeared inside Alex, and he couldn’t put the name of this feeling. Since when Logan started experiencing so many emotions about one person (even if it was anger) and worrying?

The CIA agent’s thought was interrupted by Logan finally entering the living room again; the other man clearly had a troubled expression now. This only confirmed his theory more to the point that Alex had to step in.

“I enjoyed myself today. It was very… nice. Of course, you did ruin my morning completely with your random breakfast choice,” He said as he was trying his best to keep the most natural and calm tone.

“I told you already it the safe-”

“I know, I know you had your own crazy reason, who am I to question you anyway. And to be fair, after you beat up these neighboring homophobes as they deserve, I kinda already forgave you.”

As Alex finally shared what we were holding in for the day, he was taken aback by Logan's passive expressions. Not only the silver-haired man did not react to Alex's words but he also had an inexpressive face as if he was lost in thought for some time now. 

“However, Harris, you have been awfully obedient this entire time, trying so hard to satisfy my needs. Is there… if there is something you wanted from me?” He finally said it.

And just like that, the wonderful magic was gone. The surreal atmosphere that has surrounded them for the entire day has vanished, and a cruel expression appeared on Logan’s face.

“Sometimes I tend to forget that aside from a pretty face, you also have this smart little head too.” His half-smile lazily appeared again, while Logan’s exhaustion became slightly more visible. “Was I that oblivious, Miller?”

“I just know you too well. I was unsure at first, but once you actually volunteered to join me at the market, I was certain that there was something you wanted to ask of me,”  _ Which is weird since a more Logan behavior would be merely giving an order. _

The blond already expected a rude, cynical comment to follow from Logan; however, the other reacted unexpectedly.

“You remember where and what meeting will be held tonight?”

Yeah he remembered that, Club Apollo yet again, meeting with all the most prominent members of the board. Thankfully, Alex never meant to go there. After these chaotic months, and the sights of apparent distrust on Logan’s part, it was decided that Leo alone would be quite enough for the mission. And Alex was okay with this turn of events. As much as he hated the confusion that Logan had created, he was happy that he wouldn’t be revisiting that wretched club this time.

“Don’t tell me, you want me to go there with you. Today is my free day, don’t you dare to ask me to do that now!”

“No, I want you to stay here.”

A small silence followed between the two.

“.....I don’t understand.”

“Do not go to Club Appollo, not under any fucking circumstance” as the silver-haired continued on his speech, he started to pick up his usual essentials. Which, of course, were mostly guns. “If you want, you are free to go to your apartment, but I would prefer it if you stayed here. Tomorrow we could even play a game that you wouldn’t shut up about.” 

“Stay here? What am I? A fucking pet?!”

“No, obviously not dumbass. You are my hugging teddy bear! Bahahaha,” Even with Logan making his usual stupid jokes, Alex could still feel how something was off,“ I will probably spend most of the night at the meeting. It would be a very nice reward for me to hug you for the rest of the night later once it’s all over.”

“Argh, fine! But tomorrow, you will play the game, and you will be attentive!”

“Of course, kitten. Whatever works for you. My entire tomorrow belongs only to you.”

Logan ever so slightly leaned over, and before the blond even noticed, their lips met in a long heated moment. From the innocent touch, it had turned into a much deeper kiss, as one almost ruthlessly hungrily explored the mouth of the other. And Logan doesn’t let go of him until he almost ran out of breath.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right here,” He softly whispered in his deep voice before vanishing through the door like a ghost. 

As the other man left him all alone in the room; Alex, all breathless, only had enough strength to slide down the wall next to him while touching his lips. He was scared. He was scared of how much his body was burning, and how blissful the sensation was just now. But aside from that blazing passion, he was even more nervous with the feeling of regret that he felt as Logan left him in this cold and lonely apartment.


	4. We are two parallels (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Prepare the tissues fams T_T We’ll need cookies and tea after this one. Special thanks to Luwis06 as always.

After Logan left, Alex decided to calm his nerves by doing some online shopping. He sat comfortably while wrapping in a gray blanket and having a warm tea, trying to search for a brand new PS5 for Logan. His prime goal was to impress the man tomorrow when he comes back home. However, the online shopping only helped a little, as Alex still felt an immense heat on his lips, and he knew the tea was not the reason.  _ Fucking Logan always _ he thought to himself, as his finger lingered around the place that his boss last touched him.  _ He still affects my body like that. _

Trying to get away Logan’s figure from his head, Alex scrolled around again to find more suitable gaming gear. He didn’t care about the price. After all, Logan did leave his credit card behind, so the blond could, at the very least, make sure to get the best gaming set there. If anything, the said leader would be happy to find out that Alex used his money. He always encouraged it.

However, before Alex could finally check out the console, he was interrupted by his phone notification. Already smiling, he took out the phone from the back pocket, as he expected a familiar low voice to reach him. But once he looked at the screen, his blood suddenly ran cold.

  
  


It read:  _ Unidentified number. _

Of course, he was ready for the CIA office to contact him. But he was taken aback that someone from the center would openly reach out to him like this, that was very unheard of. That was unheard of. Just a sudden call like that, no encrypted messages, no warnings. For hell's sake, what if he was still eating dinner with Logan? After swallowing a massive lump in his throat, the blond finally answers. 

“Agent Miller is listening,” he had to say that, as the protocol dictated, to show that he was currently available to talk freely and was in no possible danger.

“It’s been a while since we talked on the phone, Alex” -  _ That cold, almost robotic tone. _

_ That voice. _

_ His mother. _

_ His sister. _

_ His savior. _

“Aria... I….I wished you would call me more often; it's really been a while,” Alex muttered with relief breath. It was so pleasant for him to hear Aria’s voice after so long. His body felt a whole cocktail of emotions: from confusion, shock to happiness. It was also unbelievable loneliness that his only family would hardly talk to him. 

But Alex was too delighted to voice his complaints. He’d just prefer this notion to become more common. But merely getting in contact like this with his family was already enough to give him more strength, so arguing with any of them is the last thing he would ever want.  _ I wonder if Hailey would be able to call me too. I wanna hear her voice so bad. _

“Don’t misunderstand; we know that you are currently in Harri’s apartment. It is the least likely place to be bugged in all of this city. Calling right now is more efficient.” She responded effortlessly. Unlike Alex, she was not experiencing nearly as many emotions.  _ You are direct as always, dear Aria. _

“I know,” Alex paused a little before he pushed away his feelings, as what was expected from any CIA agent. “So what should I do?” he prepared himself for a serious conversation.

“Tonight, you are obligated to visit the upcoming party at club Apollo,” Aria said in a usual distant tone.

And a sudden silence was created on lines.

“What? Club Apollo, and tonight of all times? But I, I can’t tonight, I really can’t. I thought Leo was tasked with that job! Plus, you know that Logan has avoided me at work for some time now. Isn’t Leo enough?” His voice was becoming  frailer and frailer with every sentence.

Such news shocked Alex. The blond felt as sour and bitter as if he drank an entire bowl of vinegar. First of all, he would need time to prepare for the upcoming mission. Dressing up, preparing a new “story” for himself. Regardless, by now, he was already late for the party. Secondly, why would the CIA inform him only now? Not a week before, not yesterday, but now? Why the sudden rush? With those thoughts, Alex took a last gulp from his now cold tea.  _ Cold as my life now. _

“Change of plans. Something unexpected came up.”  _ But we never change plans like that! _

“Aria, please, could you tell me more about what is going on?” The blond said in a pleading tone as he put away his mug.

There was a brief pause on the other line. It seemed like the time stopped, as Alex just waited utterly breathless. A silence from Aria made him even more worried. But a sliver of hope was still lingering within his heart, that this was all a big misunderstanding. That he is not supposed to go anyway today. That he won’t break yet another promise.

“Your mission to keep an eye on Riam Zimmer.”

“Riam Zimmer? The …? But, why Zimmer?”

A non-stop wave of thoughts and questions started to devour Alex.  _ Riam Zimmer? Why him?! Logan is my target! I have to make sure that he becomes the next chairman? Logan Harris is the center of all CIA’s attention. Why is that center suddenly switches to Riam, now out of all times? _

Blond finally stood up, as he was unable to sit still from the wave of information. He already started moving in the front door’s direction, out of pure pressure.

“Can’t Leo be the one to keep an eye on him?” Alex could only say that, in a completely hopeless tone.

“He can’t, because now he is supposed to monitor after Logan Harris,” an irritating sight from Aria, “Harris was never supposed to show up for the meeting. Leo confirmed previously that Harris never planned on coming in the first place. And with our two targets attending the meeting, we are unable to rely on only one agent.”

To that, Alex could only stay silent; he didn’t know what to say either. Everything that Aria said made perfect sense, and even if the blonde did come up with some witty questions, Aria would not even give him a chance to ask one. It was Aria, after all, the one who he respects so much. The one who was always better than him. The one he had no will or strength to fight against.

The front door was already in front of him. He clenched his jaw as goosebumps covered his body. It almost felt like every part of his body was screaming at him to not leave the apartment.

“In your recent report, you stated that Harris is less keen on sharing business matters with you now. Because of that, the best use of you would be to follow after Riam Zimmer.” She said it all so easy, as if she was explaining yet another rule of chess. Deeply inside, Aria’s absolutely complete self-control over every situation scared him. But another more uncomfortable thought appears in his head as it caused him to touch his own blond locks nervously.

_ That’s right…. Logan is probably suspicious of me….right? That’s why he wants to keep me away. Everything that he did….today…. with me….That was only done to lower my guard. Logan, the famous ruthless Logan Harris, he would never…. _

Blond looked again at the front door before him. He truly felt terrified of it. He understood that once leaving, he might lose something precious to him. And...he might disappoint someone so important to him.

“I understand.” Alex finally answered. He had covered his face with one hand while trying to stabilize his own emotions. Cause the blonde was unable to process any more of his thoughts now, with something inside of him aching.

Right now, he just wanted to do anything else, just to keep these thoughts away.

“It came to my attention that Zimmer doesn’t know you personally.” Aria continued, once she was content with the answer from the other agent, “We can use it to our advantage. It’s better to keep the least contact with him. However, if he does notice you, make sure to stay anonymous and keep our real identity hidden.”

“It will be done, Aria,” was all Alex could say once the phone line was cut. The realization that Aria had no intentions of actually talking to him made him even more crestfallen. All he ever wanted was to ask how his little sister was doing if she was okay if her health was getting any better. At the very least, Aria could have delivered some of his wishes to her.

He looked at the nearby window to see the sign of spring: Trees of pink and white blossoms were near full bloom. _ I wonder if that brute ever noticed them; they look so lovely today. _ What a beautiful day it has been. Alex only hoped that it wouldn’t be destroyed in tiny pieces tonight. 

And while trying to focus on the upcoming mission, he stood up lifelessly. He could only leave behind the PC he just used, and all of his wishful plans, without looking back. 

  
  
  
  
  


**_I’m sorry, Logan._ **

—————————

Getting to his own houses, changing, entering the club Apollo, all of these things Alex did as if in a trance. Oh, to be more honest, he tried to do them all in a daze, as the feeling of guilt was slowly crawling to his back. It was already a night tie when he entered the building and moved into the VIP second floor. He was all late for the meeting, but the blond had little choices for this matter and proceeded to mingle with the crowd.

With a small sight, Alex ran his fingers through his golden locks. It messed up his already messy hair even more, but he was too tired to care. He was unable to get rid of the tension in his body. Even the usually comfortable white suit he wore for such meetings (the one that Grayson Lee specifically preferred the most) seemed to be slowly suffocating him. All that had caused him not so politely turned down all the waiters with their drinks sets, and Alex knew too well that he would start catching all more of the unwanted attention at this rate.

The only saving grace for him was that the party seemed so much more quiet and elegant since the last time Alex visited this club. This setting was leagues beyond better than the previous one. Who could have thought that the second floor of this place would resemble more of a stylish bar, with light jazz music surrounding everyone. 

It was clearly dedicated to people with fatter wallets to enjoying themselves. In this more civilized and contractible space, the blond was very grateful that unpleasant fragrances and music did not assault his ears and nose this time. He had to give credit to the person who organized the party; they knew what they were doing.

And that was the very moment Alex noticed his target. A man who was calmly sitting on the sofa all alone with a glass of wine, who fit the description of Riam Zimmer perfectly.

He sat in a more secured corner, with two sofas facing one another and a small coffee table in between. It resembles more of the place for seclusion and relaxation, while it was still part of the main hall room. Alex was already looking around to find a more secure place to hide his presents when suddenly the blond heard a deep voice calling out to him:

“Oh, you must be Miller? A pleasure to finally see you in person. Take a seat now, join me" -. The man from the sofa addressed him so suddenly, out of all people.

While wearing a completely neutral expression, Alex Miller, on the inside, was totally in great panic. Why did Zimmer out all people notice him and address him! Did he screw up somewhere in the way here? Did he not look presentable enough! _And why in god's name does he know MY FUCKING NAME?! Maybe if I ignore him, he will think that he mistook me for someone else._

“Miller? Don’t just stand there. Come, have a chat with me?”

**_Just my freaking luck._ **

“Excuse me, Mr.Zimmer. I got a bit lost in thought” Smiling, Alex finally said, with all the fake confidence he could muster. He approached the sofa to take a seat elegantly across Riam, “To be honest, had this nagging headache for the day. Didn't get much sleep last night.” 

“You must be a very diligent worker, Miller. I'm glad to have people like you in our organization,” Zimmer said back, as surprisingly, Alex almost saw an invisible smile emerging on his stoic face.

“You seem to know a great deal about me. I am flattered.” the CIA agent said.

“Anyone who knows Harris will learn about you, Miller, sooner or later,” Riam replied with little care in his voice. He slowly swirled a glass of red wine in his hand, as he looked at it more than on Alex, who sat in front of him. “You should try this one. Château Lafite Rothschild.” Zimmer said it in an almost perfect accent. He then pointed at the wine bottle at the table, right in between the two men. “One of its kind. It will surely ease your mind.”

A glass of high standard wine at this moment sounded like a good idea. It could help Alex calm his mind and assess the situation he got himself into. The last thing that he needed right now was sweating and became a shaking mess in front of this dangerous man. The unblinking stares that Riam Zimmer was giving were already driving him slowly insane.

Alex gave a small nod.

_ Well, my spying got fucked _

_ My anonymity got fucked _

_ All that's left is to drink my sorrow away,  _ he bitterly thought.

To that, Riam finished in his glass in one long elegant sip. He then called out to the waiter, who stood right next to their lounging space. “Bring in the special glass, please.” For a short moment, the waiter disappeared in the back of the room, just to reaper with the outstanding looking wine glass.

_ I wonder what makes them so unique. It must be the quality of the glass; they do look gorgeous. _

As Riam filled both his and Alex’s glasses with exquisite wine, the blond wondered to himself why the other man would sit here alone. Was he possibly waiting for someone?

“For our final meeting,” Zimmer said as he raised his glass, patiently waiting for the other man to repeat his motion.

“For our final meeting. It is quite funny that we never had a chance to meet before while working in the same organization,” The blond gave out a small fake chuckle that he had very much trained over the years to make it as realistic as possible, and raised his own glass.

To his surprise, the taste was divine! So good that he was somehow already feeling better. Alex never really got into drinking alcohol, and this wine tasting was a fresh experience to him. Maybe life is not too bad after all. Perhaps he will be able to finish his job soon and successfully meet Logan later in his apartment like nothing happened.

“It would have happened sooner or later,” Zimmer sipped on his wine, staying just as stoic and cold.

When he thought about it, Logan and Zimmer looked like complete opposites. One wore a strict and luxurious costume, with the intent to stay professional and less personal to those around him. The other wore the best high-priced clothes to enforce his attractiveness and dominance, to show his personality to everyone as his main force. One hid his thoughts and desires by several layers of masks, while the other would always be raw emotions, so open to the whole world. Riam was totally very different from Logan, who was probably the epitome of honesty (whether it was his unshakable will or the darkest desires) and uncontrollable force. Because of that, Zimmer, unlike his rival, almost seemed utterly fake. Alex kept wondering how much of what Zimmer showed is a facade if it's not everything.

“However, I am more interested in why Harris is not around you right now.” Alex's thoughts were suddenly distributed by the man next to him. Today’s task was in front of him—no need to get distracted anymore.

“To be honest, we haven’t been in touch that often. So during these types of meetings, we are usually apart,” Alex muttered gloomily. Telling only half of the truth would make his lies a lot more realistic.

“Then that makes me wonder why do you even work for Harris. With your talents, you could have strived for higher.” Riam said, studying gaze targeted directly at the blond.

That question made Alex pause momentarily, as he had nothing to say. Of course, he had his very reason to stay with Logan. But the question caused him to think about what he would feel if he worked with someone else. It would have been easier, right? Because if he worked for someone like Zimmer or Grayson, he wouldn’t feel nearly as much emotion as with that asshole. His heart wouldn’t light up whenever anyone of them accidentally touched him. He wouldn’t be burning on the inside whenever they looked at him intensely for a long moment, undressing him with their eyes.

“Can’t imagine myself working with someone else. I might sound naive, but I and that asshole tend to complement one another.” Alex finally said an honest answer on his part. 

“Hmmm, interesting. I could never see myself having a right-hand, even though Mr. Lee insisted on me getting one.” Zimmer continued. The CIA agent felt uncomfortable under that studying gaze. He could even see his own reflection in Riam's glasses.

“It comes with the trust. If Logan and I didn’t rely on each other and haven’t saved one other so many times, we wouldn’t get where we are now.” The blond said. He took another small sip of wine while collecting his thoughts. If he managed to get a good impression on this iceberg of a man, he might find an opportunity in the future. Getting a new ally for his jerk boss would be the most preferable.“But if there is one piece of advice that I have. I think… I think you should like the person, first of all, if you want to work with them this close.”

“Hah, ‘like a person.’ You do realize Miller, that I was asking about work, not a partner in my free time,” Riam replied in a sarcastic tone. He retook the bottle to add more wine in his glass.

“That still works, Mr.Zimmer. With your ‘right-hand’, you would have spent most of your time, and if you don’t find their presence likable, you will soon get irritated rather than get any work done. It should be a person who you trust and want to understand you after all.” Alex’s sapphire irises stared back at the stoic mask.

“Finding a person like that is almost impossible.”

“It is, but that person is needed to all of us nonetheless. You would need a person to share all your burdens with,” the blond replied in a more melancholy voice. With a thoughtful expression, he looked back at his almost empty glass.

“More wine?” The older man asked.

“No, no, that’s enough for me. I honestly don’t like alcohol that much,” Alex quickly replied with a fake smile, as his expression became a bit tighter than previously.

Riam's sharp gaze still stood unwavering from him.

“Do you think Logan found that person, then?” He finally asked.

“A man like that crazy-ass hardly truly likes anything. That moron probably enjoys things more only after they get broken by him,” a small, very light chuckle came out. This time Alex knew very well that it had come directly from his heart, “But he found something in me that is to his liking, I suppose. It’s been like that since the day we first met.” 

The very first day they met. Reminiscence of that had awakened inside Alex both warm and scared emotions. Logan back then only saw him as a quick lay, right? It made him wonder what had changed since then.

“And it all worked out in the end for us. So I’m sure you will be able to find that person too Mr. Zimmer, sooner or later.” This time, Alex said with an honest smile. How strange that the thought about Logan and their past made him feel so light-headed.

“Your advice sounds very provoking considering that you address your boss so informal. Especially showing so little respect to a man like Harris, some might call you insane.” Alex could see a small crack on Riam’s poker face. It seemed his struggles turned out successful as Riam Zimmer granted him one of his rare half-smiles.

“Maybe that's what Logan likes about me. He-

Alex couldn’t finish his sentence as a man suddenly approached them. He was a simple middle-aged looking man, dressed in another expensive top brand, but was too overweight to wear it properly. And in contrast with the price of his clothes, he still somehow looked very plain. But Alex managed to recognize him as one of the board’s men, he was also considered as one of Riam Zimmer’s prime supporters. However, never in his wildest fucking dreams Alex could have predicted what the man would say as he approached Zimmer.

“That dog’s image is getting staler by each day! Today was exceptionally effective.” An ugly smirk appeared on the man's broad face. “Let me tell you, Mr. Zimmer. Mr. Grayson was so furious that even when Harris joined him for the late dinner, it didn’t help at all! Boss screamed at him in front of everyone! Oh, it was such a delightful sight; I wish you could have seen it, Mr. Zimmer.” The disgusting man made a gesture with his hand as if he talked about some sort of overly expensive dish. “It's such an excellent job, let me tell you that!”

Riam didn’t even face the other man with his gaze. He kept on staring at Alex like he’s searching for something within him. Then his only response to this talk was an icy: “Thank you.” After that, Riam Zimmer took a huge sip of wine to celebrate his day’s achievement with a solemn expression.

_ What is he talking about? What the fuck?! So Logan joined this meeting all of a sudden to make up with Grayson Lee?! _

To this unexpected news, the blond suddenly found himself holding the wine glass with such immense force, to the point where it almost felt like it could break at any moment. He bit down the inside of his cheek as he quite quickly started to connect all the hints. It all started to make much more sense. At the very least, there were no other factors that would have shown his inner turmoil, as his face still looked impassive.

“Oh, I can’t wait to tell you all the details, Mr. Zimmer!” The board member continued, eager to shower someone else with more dirt. It made Alex wonder if this maggot of a snitch would ever have enough strength to even look Logan in the eyes directly.

“Don’t. You’ve said enough already,” Riam suddenly interrupted the man, as he poured more wine into his bottle. “If you didn’t notice, I was having a conversation with Miller here, which I very much prefer to continue.”

To that sentence, Alex immediately targeted all his attention to Riam, his eyes filled with uncontained anger.  _ Oh, I have things to say to you too!! _

“Oh, of course, Mr. Zimmer! Of course!! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”  _ Finally, he is leaving. And you Zimmer… you fucking snake. _

With the other man quickly leaving the sight, a short moment of silence approached the two men. Alex wondered what Riam would say if he were to start talking first, but the other man just kept being silent. Zimmer probably was thinking the same too, as he kept on staring at the blond, seeming to have a great interest in his reaction. And Alex was ready to give it a piece of his mind too, because at this very moment, it didn’t matter who stood before him...

“What the hell are you planning?!” Alex had no control of his words now, as his rage started boiling heartedly inside. Part of him was furious with himself since he must have looked incredibly pathetic to this manipulator. He had played around with him all this time, like with a stupid pet.

Riam, on the other hand, looked a bit less bored and moved his gaze to the wine glass, as he started to swirl it in his usual motion: “Well, you see my reasons are -”

“I don’t give a fuck about your fuking reasons, you hear me? I’m more concerned about your idiocy. Do you really think that messing up with YOUR and Grayson’s biggest partner is a good idea? How fucking dare you!” The CIA agent found himself getting extremely enraged at this point, but he also could see that Riam's jawline had tensed for a short moment.  _ Good, get angry now, _ the blonde thought as he pushed away from the cursed glass; as he crossed his arms in a more defensive stance, he could even feel the hair at the top of his head rising. That’s the way his own body saying the man in front of him is an enemy..

“I have to say I do like you more like that—so much fire and saying it all straight to me. No wonder why Logan is so insane over you,” Riam said as the very first honest smile appeared on his usually stern face.

It was the first time Alex saw him genuinely showed emotions, but it only caused the blond to feel even more revolted. He couldn’t wait to leave this man, this room, this party, this fucking everything as soon as possible. He already got the essential info anyway—no wonder why Aria had ordered him to spy on Zimmer. Well, at least now his job is done.

So, he thought that he might as well tell everything that he’s been thinking about this man, in person, right now. “You disgu-“

“Regardless of what you think of me, my reasoning is important.” Riam Zimmer insisted again, he was very keen on sharing his reasons, for God knows why. Finally, he put away his glass and tilted himself over on his own seat to gain more closeness with the blond. “Harris took something very significant from me. So, I, in return, plan to take everything from him too, bit-by-bit. His position, his goals, his madness.”

“You are fucking pathetic.” He didn’t give a damn about Riam's feelings or reasoning, the other man probably had his right to be this angry, and maybe Logan did screw up big time. But it didn’t matter to him at all; somehow, at that moment, the only thing that mattered for Alex Miller was that he wanted to come back to Logan’s apartment and to meet the man there. As soon as possible.

“Even if you end up taking everything from Logan. Even if you succeed in taking everything from him, his life, his goal, his ‘madness’, do you think that will give you any satisfaction? Or will you truly gain anything out of it? No. Fucking no. Because you are not Logan Harris, and you will never be able to HANDLE anything he has! And you will just end up falling apart, Riam Zimmer. You will only end up rotting in a hell full of suffering and loneliness. And that is that.” 

Alex finally stood up from his seat; he was genuinely content to leave like that; while Riam, wide-eyed, just stared at the blond speechlessly. He probably never expected such a reaction from him. And it mattered nothing to Alex what Zimmer thought of him.  _ It doesn’t even matter anyway…. I have my job done, and my only boss is Logan. _

However, when Alex turned himself away from Riam, all already to leave him behind, he suddenly felt that something was very wrong. He couldn’t take a single step away from the sofa, his legs didn’t respond to him appropriately, and he had to lean on the sofa’s armrest to stay balanced. His vision started to get blurry, with the corners of his eyes already getting darker. 

The blond knew very precisely at that point what happened to him. He just never expected that he would ever fall for such a dumb trick.

_ Riam...that degenerate… he drugged me _ … and Alex now knew very well that he was behind him, was still sitting at his seat with a usual stern, stoic mask-like nothing happened. Like a predator, he was simply waiting for Alex to lose himself completely.

_ Did he drug the bottle... the wine? No, no… it must be the glass, the fucking special glass.  _

At that very moment, only one thing circled around Alex’s head: he needed to get out of here. Fast. That Zimmer asshole planned this from the very start, and now with the knowledge of his hate towards Logan, kidnapping him made a lot of sense. And just when Alex promised to avoid any trouble.  _ Just my fucking luck. _

The blond tried to take a small step forward, but even that seemed already impossible, as he found himself stuck at his stop, struggling to remain awake. He could already hear Riam behind him standing up from his seat, while he could not even take even a single step. What was this asshole planning to do to him? Alex was too scared to even think about it, his hands started to tremble as he felt totally helpless. And as he slowlier and slowlier blinked, he found that his consciousness was drifting away. 

_ I fucked up, I fucked up so bad….no….Someone, anybody...please...please help me...  _

The poor blond was already ready to give up on his pride and start screaming for help, but just then he saw a familiar figure standing in the other corner of the room. That figure towered above everyone else, shining brighter than anyone; 

His messy silver hair had the weirdest style to it but always suited the man, his magnetizing smile that took over everyone's attention. And those sharp eyes, dark as starless night that Alex so wished would look at him right now.

Logan Harris stood there, as he stood above all of the pathetic gossips, ready to take on the entire world with people all around the room just circling the almighty leader of Hounds like moths.

“Lo-log...Logan!..Logan!!”- was all Alex could scream with his remaining strength. He could only pray that his voice was loud enough to be heard from that distance. _Please look at me. Please don’t leave me… I’m sorry. I'm so sorry._

And Logan immediately shook his head in his direction. He stood out of the crowd with several long strides to instantly find Alex with his eyes. That only made blond’s mind ease with a hopeful sight that he was finally saved. But what he saw next made his heart clatch in pain more than ever before in the previous several years.

Logan, a man who knew no fear, who not even once had been worried about anything; for the first time in Alex’s eyes, looked lost, and almost vulnerable. He looked... so shocked, so confused, and one thing Alex thought that Logan could never ever feel: fear. For the first time in his life, he saw this fearless man looking terrified: dark eyes widen in shock, lips slightly shaking. The silver-haired looked directly at him but his face was so...

_ Logan, why do you look so scared? You are already here now! It’s alright as long as you are here. As long as you’re with me. _

Alex was trying his best to stay awake, to move forward to Logan, or at the very least keep on looking at the man, for as long as he could. However, he could only feel his strength finally wavering away, and even leaning down on any surface to stay still seemed impossible. He started sliding off, unable to hold on to anything, as his hands were becoming almost wooden and unable to hold on to the armrest any longer. The only thing the blond could manage to do was take the last glance at Logan before falling. But he knew that he could feel relieved now, cause the other man was sprinting to him, ruthlessly pushing anyone in his way, just to get to Alex faster.  _ You are finally here… Loga- _

Alex had already lost his consciousness at that time and couldn’t feel anything when Logan caught him midfall, tightly embracing him in his arms. 

“Alex!!! Kitten, no, no, fuck, please!! Fucking God no!! Don’t be like that!!! Please wake up and don't fall asleep!! No, no, fuck, no, please, Alex!!” Logan was shaking him with his trembling hands, holding his face to see those sapphire eyes once more and yet... and yet Alex wouldn’t open his eyes to him.

At this point, Logan just turned blind to people around him. He turned deaf to the low whispers. He turned mute to all the nosy questions. In his hands, he was holding the one that meant everything to him. Who he had failed to protect, and who was now too delicate, fragile, and ethereal in his hands. The silver-haired man was too scared to check his heartbeat or his breath, as he was afraid of them to be silently still. It was like the nightmare he had all this month ago finally came to be.

“Well, that didn’t go as I planned,” a low voice murmured, but Logan heard it very clearly. He instantly turned around to faceRiam directly with an unreadable expression. He then looked back at Alex the last time, as he kissed his forehead and gently ever so slightly lay him down. 

And in an instant, no one could stop Logan when he jumped on Riam, making the other forcefully collide his head with the hard wooden floor. Zimmer was about to hiss in pain when Logan shut him up by punching him directly in the face, many times, repeatedly. That violent scene made the people around them start screaming, but Logan couldn’t care less to give a fuck now.

Riam’s nose made a crunch sound right after that, as it started to bleed profusely. Another punch followed right at the jaw. Riam would be surprised it didn’t end up broken as it certainly felt this way. Another jab. Riam was unsure now if he could even feel where the pain started to come from as all his face began to turn into a mess of blood and bruises.

Logan's face, to others, looked inhuman, cold, and distant. Indifference to the screams that surrounded him and to the pain that he felt in his own bloody knuckles. One punch after the other; one, and one, and one more. Was a tooth falling off? Logan couldn’t tell with all the red mess. The vermin under him made a gurgling sound as he started to choke on his blood.  _ No, no no, don't you die yet, it's too early, too fucking early. You should suffer more. I should make you suffer more.  _ The silver-haired then punched the hardly-can-be-call-a-human-now again, this time at the throat, somewhere below Adam's apple, to make him vomit out his own blood. And maybe his own organs too. That would be a lovely scene.

The vomiting cough didn’t last for long as more punches followed it. Harder and harder.

Logan just wanted to feel Riam’s body getting all squishy and bloody under his hand. Just to make sure this fucker’s bones will be molded to dust, he was ready to rip his fucking disgusting brain to crap with his bare teeth.

He wouldn’t stop until he is dead. Then he will be killed afterward. That way, he can be with Alex again.

It took more than eight people to move Logan from Riam. At that point, none at the party was sure if even Zimmer was alive or not.

—————————

“Harris, you just turned this whole day into a fucking Disneyland for me!! Look what you did to Riam, I hardly find one unwrecked part on that face!!” Grayson Lee screamed in between smoking as he paced around an unmoving statue of a man, who was considered the wildest beast before.

In Grayson’s offices, aside from Logan and himself, several bodyguards, who managed to stop the crazed man before,were there to seize Logan Harris again if something similar were to repeat. However, none of the poor bruised men wanted a repetition of anything that happened several hours ago. All of them had their own families they wanted to come back to after tonight, thank you very much. They were not even sure if they would be that lucky again to successfully hold down that crazy ruthless monster. 

Several hours had passed since Alex fell down in front of Logan, and he hasn’t seen him since then. The silver-haired man just kept on remembering his figure in his head, his face when he cried for Logan, his fragile voice desperately calling for him. And when his kitten fell into his arms, breathless. It was the only thing that kept the leader of the Hounds somewhat sane now.

“I’m going to kill him, Lee. He poisoned Alex. I’m not letting that bitch live out another hour,” Logan whispered slowly, in a hoarse voice but was audible to the rest of the room. He just stared at his hands, the ones that held the kitten not too long. He paid little mind to others in the room as he kept staring on his shaking hands. The sounds that silver-haired made more resembled growls than an actual coherent speech.

“I'm telling you, your Alex is fine! I told you, my medics looked at him several times now. He’s completely healthy, just asleep. Probably got drunk or something.” Grayson looked at Zimmer, who sat in the other end of the room, with his face mostly bandaged. Several bodyguards surrounded him too, but for a completely different reason. Protect him from Logan. Zimmer looked like an utterly wrecked piece of shit, and he might take several months with a crane or on a wheelchair after this incident. The doctor said that it was a miracle for him to survive in that state. Heck, Grayson wouldn’t ever want to look into his medical report again! That shit was just utterly crazy.

“You don’t believe me, Mr. Lee?” Logan shook his head. He was a mess in more ways than one and completely exhausted from the beat-up he performed. But it still didn’t stop everyone else in the room, except for Lee, shaking a bit whenever he talked.

“I only looked at the facts, boy. No poison was used. And why would Riam ever need to do that in the first place? Use your head.” Lee had to give credit to Logan; he knew how to mess someone up. It would be a huge shame to waste such potential as Logan. A true beast, a real hound. Riam, on the other hand, tried to hide the pain that he still felt, as the dose of the painkillers was not big enough.

“Is Alex… Is he alright?” suddenly Logan, as if woken from a deep slumber, muttered. 

“He fucking is. Sleeping like a baby,” Grayson Lee, unlike everyone else in the room, he was completely calm. He hated repeating himself more than anything else, but if that helped for Logan to get rid of that dazed state, he would repeat himself again, thousand times more. He already figured out a long time ago how much Logan needed that boy Alex. Without him, the leader of the Hounds would be completely uncontrollable.

“That dirty whore just got wasted, simple as that Harris,” Riam suddenly said, as if he didn't have enough of his knocked off. 

“The fuck you said,” Logan already stood up, reaching to his knife this time. All bodyguards immediately stood up, with a hardly contained fear in their faces.

“You fuckers did check his pockets before he entered my office.” Lee clicked his tongue and moved to Logan himself. He roughly took the knife from the crazed man, while his gaze never left Logan’s bloodshot eyes. “The fucking hell!! You look like you have been dosed with adrenaline or something. Sit the fuck down.”

A crooked cough followed from the other end of the room and slowly turned into a blooded cough. 

“Have you just noted he always looks like that? He is nothing but a rabid mutt after all.” Riam tried his best to show some sort of strength, but all his struggles turned out more pathetic than he first anticipated. Harris wrinkled his nose as he looked at the man with pure disgust.

“Not in my office now! You two knock it off, now! And Riam, stop provoking him!”

The words had little effect as both men were still staring at each other with their gazes.

“Listen to me both of you, I don't care about the beef you two had. But this shit is affecting MY business.”

As Logan was forced to take a seat, his thought returned to Alex again. Now that he knew that the blond was safe, it became easier to breathe. He knew perfectly well that Alex would never get drunk, especially here out of all places. Alex was most likely, yet again, forced to join this party, all because of the CIA. _I knew this could fucking happen, I fuking knew. And of course, at the worst possible timing. I was just being a lovesick idiot and imagining shit. Yet it still hurts so fucking much that you gave up on everything we shared today, kitten. If you only listened to me, if you only trusted me..., at least once._

However, even Logan couldn’t have not predicted that Alex would end up getting so close with Riam. Even worse, sitting and drinking so that this fuck face could end up drugging Alex. 

“You have to work together, is that clear? I don’t care about the shit that happened between you two. Do not. Repeat this. Again. Am I clear?” Grayson Lee lit up a brand new cigarette. “Now get the fuck out, you two. Logan, go look at your Alex to calm down or something. I can't look at you anymore today. Sober up and see me tomorrow,” he finally ordered. The only thing he wanted now was to get some rest from these two idiots.

______________________________________________________

Like real people of honor, the bodyguards were the first to leave Logan and Riam to themselves right outside of Grayson’s office. These men honestly had the best survival instincts there.

As the two rivals stood in the hallway by themselves, both their heads were filled with their own rain of thought. In particular, Logan tried to push away his shitty mood, assuring himself that his kitten was safe, and waited for him.

But first, before leaving, before ending this wretched night, Harris had one question to ask.

“Tell me what would stop me from gutting you out like a pig right now. After that shit you did. After you drugged my Miller.” The silver-haired man finally muttered in a calm, collected tone. He was ready to die for Alex, so finishing what he had previously started seemed like a genuinely good idea. His already swollen knuckles were already itching, patiently waiting for part two.

“Now? And right after you just tried to kill me? Then, after that, what should happen to you, and to your Alex?” Riam let out a heavy sigh. He used the crane to stabilize himself better, unable to rely on just walls.

“You already tried to harm him just now. What was your fucking plan? Spit it out.” Logan said as he stared down at the ground, fingers flexing at his sides.

“Tie him to bed, let my man have some work with him for the night.” The bandaged man replied in a simple manner. It was clear that he took great joy in sharing his plans in this sort of fashion. Fucking degenerate pervert. Alex got saved only by a small chance after all, and there will be more possibilities further ahead. And they could be done even without Zimmer’s direct intervention.

Logan stood stiff there for a moment as he averted his gaze further down the hall, his broad shoulders stiffened a lot more than before. “I'm not even surprised that you would stoop this low. You just want to punch where it hurts the most but leave no bruises, so no one can blame you afterward,” He finally said, a sadistic smile began to emerge on his inhumanely lunatic face. “Heh, but wouldn’t killing him be faster and cleaner.”

“True, it would be the most effective. But if I did kill him, you would have gone mad completely and started an outright civil war within our organization. No one would then be able to stop you from killing me. Even if it's suicidal for you. That would be an anticlimactic end ly for me, don't you think?.”

“Then why the fuck? Why make all this mess?”

“This was a perfect warning,” a sinister chuckle followed.

Only then Logan turned to look directly at the now crippled man. Who would have thought that someone would try to imitate an evil laugh and right in front of himself non less. Even though Riam was physically weakened now, he still thoroughly prepared a bunch of fucking ammunition against Logan. Like a spider who sets traps all over him. _ So this is just the fucking beginning aint’it. _

“You thought I wouldn’t be able to learn about Miller; about how much he means to you, or how much you want to protect him,” another crazed laugh. “Now, do you see how powerless you are against me?”

“I could have killed him just now so easily. But no Harris, I want to see you burn,” Riam continued his monolog, knowing all too well that he had found Logan Harris’s most significant weak spot. And knowing too well too that for once, he had the upper hand. “I have to say there is something about Miller that just draws in. And the more he shows his true self, the more irresistibly captivating he becomes. Why shouldn’t I take him from you huh?”

Riam could now see Logan clenching his teeth even more. He now perfectly resembled a crazed hound. Zimmer was not surprised that the next thing the beast did, was to push him crudely into the opposite wall. But instead of shutting him up, Logan still stood there silently, and that just encouraged the crippled man to talk more.

“I don’t just want to take something that you live for, I will break him, Harris. I will break him slowly in every way possible, and there is nothing you can do against me. Go on, go kill me right now in front of everybody, see what will happen to your precious Alex then!!”

Once finished, Zimmer looked back at Logan intently, searching for the other's emotions. He wanted to see this man collapse before him, whining and begging shamelessly for his little boytoy’s life. However, something totally different happened.

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha, what a nice talk you had there Zimmer! I might be crazy, but you sounded just like a complete Lunatic. A quite pathetic one.” The silver-haired indulged himself in his usual laugh, almost falling over with the force. He crouched over the wall to continue laughing in a darker tone, while digging his nails more onto the painted wall. “So you want to take everything from me, ain’t it. But you can’t yet, hahahah you first should become the next chairman.” Logan finally straightened himself and grinned from ear to ear, observing Riam closely.

Zimmer, unpredicting for this turn of events, nodded his head in satisfaction. If his lip were this swollen, it would be visible who much he bit on it. He knew all too well that soon one of them will become the next chairmen. Harris was still a candidate; and Riam had no time, nor power to realize his plans fully.

“Hahahaha, now you see what I mean…I still can be ahead of you; it all depends on what Grayson decides.” Logan glared in Lee’s door in front of them while pointing his long bruised finger at it.“A little birdy has told me that you fucker, are a fan of bet. So here is my proposition on…the one who will become Chairman on fair terms will get everything. Hahaha, fuck, and we don’t have to wait long anyway. But before that, don’t you fucking dare get close to Alex.”

  
  
  
  


_ I don’t want to see you get hurt. I don't want to see you suffer anymore. Even if you end up hating me, I will not rest until I set you free from all of them. _

________________________

The first thing that Alex felt was an intense headache, it was like a lot of people were making the craziest party inside his head. Fuck. The uncomfortable befalling caused him to open his eyes and straighten up from his bed suddenly. But it caused him even more pain in the process. Due to that, the blond was forced to sit up just for a short moment, to adjust himself.

As his eyes started to get used to dim light in the room, he managed to recognize his room. It was already morning, but moments of the last night were still too blurry for the blond to comprehend. However, he managed to identify a familiar massive figure, who now was crushing on the chair. Right beside his bed, Logan was sleeping.

Like never before, Logan looked so very pale. His circles under the eyes looked so much darker, even more profound than before. Knuckles are all swollen and bruised. Blood could be visible on his previously flawless costume. Even the beautiful combed-back silver hair lost some color to them. _What…. just happened?_ ….. 

Then it hit him. Call from Aira. Talk with Riam. And then seeing Logan.  _ I... have failed you again, Logan. _

Logan Harris would always seem so surreal to him. But this is the only time he saw him in this state he looked so fragile, utterly damaged. And Alex couldn't take it anymore. He couldn’t look at what he did to Logan, what he’d done to him last night. And more than anything, the blond was scared to imagine the disappointment in those dark eyes, when Logan would look at him. The feeling of guilt had swallowed him whole.

When Alex stood up and tried to get out of the bedroom, he didn’t mean anything wrong by it, truly. Maybe he wanted to leave his own house a while, have a short walk, anything to avoid a silver-hardest gaze. But Alex still planned on coming back and actually apologized. He would need time but he will apologize; he will make up. Logan deserves at least that much. 

However, the blond overestimated his strengths as right after he stood up and took several steps past, his legs let out. Alex ended up splattered on the floor in not the most dignified position.

That was enough to wake Logan up.

“Where are you going now, dear? I was so excited to play more games with you. We could drink wine that you enjoy that much.” The silver-haired man said with a broad smile but still a sleepy expression. He might have looked entirely calm to the average person, but Alex knew better. His darkened eyes were switching, he was cracking his fingers with nasty crashing sounds, and his smile was way too wide. Logan was furious with him. He knew it, and Logan absolutely had the right to be like that too.

The blond could only desperately try to stand up so that he could at least face the Hounds’ leader more dignified. Thou, how can he be dignified? Disobeyed Logan, got drugged, almost kidnapped, and caused too much burdensome trouble to his boss.

“Logan..listen… it’s all a-

“No, no no, don’t say anything… It’s my fault, I’m just a dumb fuck, since I trusted you in the first place. But running away NOW from me, haha… Now I wonder why you called out to me before, like a lost puppy,” As the Leader of the Hounds stood up from his seat, he took slow steps towards Alex. 

Alex could only take backward steps from Logan at his current state and was heavily moving towards an opposite wall. Blue irises moved from the wall to the face of the crazed man repeatedly as the panic inside him grew. 

“That's not what it is….and you know that it's all Riam’s fault in the first place! He has a beef with you.” The blond gaze yet again flicked over to Logan as his stomach tensed in huge nerves.

“It’s how it is. You act like an idiot, and others will shit all over you hahaha. I know it first hand. Bahahaha, I made a mistake here…. Gave you too much freedom...Spoiled, you rotten kitten.” Logan almost finally pinned Alex to the wall. The blond found himself looking like a mouse stuck between a trap and a hungry predator. He could feel a warm breath against his neck. However, with time, unlike other times, it didn’t feel comforting.

“Logan, I don’t know why you are planning, but we can sti-”

“Sorry kitten, lost my trust in you. Here I was hoping to find you patiently waiting for me… but ended up seeing what,” A bruised cold finger touched against Alex check, and pushed upwards, with a lot of force. “You were sitting, laughing and drinking wine with Riam Zimmer, like a cheap harlot. Are you planning to run away with him? Were you two laughing at me? Please do tell. I would love to hear that.”

Alex was feeling sincerely sorry for what he had done and he knew Logan had all the right to be angry at him. But handling all these cruel words from Logan was... too much for him. It was his last straw. And he doesn’t know if he could still stay...

“I have to say you do look utterly delicious right now.” Logan continued on, unhinged by blond's discomfort. “Still sleepy… all shaken up… I can’t control myself but keep on thinking how much I want to eat you. Perhaps I should… before others get you first.”

_ That's it! That’s fucken it, _ was all the younger man could think of before pushing the silver-haired of him. But his shaking weak hands could do so little against the broad chest. So, it didn’t help much, as Logan's massive body moved only several centimeters from him. 

“I know what I have done; I know my mistakes! But do not dare to think of me like a slut Harris!! Not to you, not any fuck else!” the other man, still stomped closer to Alex, with an unreadable expression. That caused the other to yell at him louder. “Get you disgusting hands of me, bastard!!!”

Something grabbed Alex by his throat in a second, and it became a lot harder to breathe. The blond tried to kick the hand and push it away, but Logan would just hold him tighter. Tears started to stream from his eyes as he felt how unbearably unfair it was. Still, with his last breath, he managed to whisper. "I am not….a whore Harris''.

To that, Logan just pushed the blond firmly into the wall, slightly lifting him above the ground. He was not smiling anymore.

“That's right, but you will be if I tell you so. You will be my fucking whore if that’s the only way you see me. And if I tell you to get fucked by me and by the rest of the Hounds, you will fucking do it. Don't ever try to disobey me again!”

He finally released Alex's neck as the poor blond started coughing and crying, tears dripping like a stream. He couldn’t control himself anymore. He didn’t care if the fucker was looking at him and not anymore.  _ It’s not fuking, fair. It’s not. Fuck all of you!!!! _

And Logan just stared intensely at what he had done to Alex but didn’t do or say anything beyond. Several minutes later, he left Alex, who was now a crying mess, desperately lying on the floor.

  
  


_____________________________

Little did the blond know, as he was too far gone in his despair to notice anything, that the man who left him just now was standing outside of his house, listening to his sobbing and crying, while punching hard on the house wall; repeatedly, without sound, without any care for himself. Afterward, it had left several blood prints on the wall.

  
  


_________________________________

That day was exactly one month before Grayson Lee’s Birthday party.


End file.
